[Thread]
I may actually be done with social media.

Life and the world, for anything has always been overwhelming.

And for a while I handled it, I can no longer handle it. I've put too much pressure on myself, to be apart of society in the same way as everybody else.

And social media became the norm and with any norm much like the world that moves to quickly I can never keep up.

And now I've had enough of trying and I'm tired. I do things my way because it's the only way I can cope.

I'm not like everybody else. I'll remain apart of society. But I'm not going to approach it like everybody else anymore, it doesn't work for me.

I'm gonna go back to being the shadow that watches, that's unseen and silent. Because that's all I've got, when I try and speak and no words or even meaning come out.

What's the point, I've learnt that I can't communicate or understand like everybody else, I'm bored of trying.

I'm scared of social media, I'm scared of communicating, I've reached my limit.

I just don't see the benefit anymore.
I'm not expecting to get anything out of this, but I shouldn't be getting the negative emotions.

I don't have Twitter feedback, replies etc. And I'm happy with that.

I just find social media (specifically Twitter) useless now.

I'm scared of the negative emotions that this place can give me, even if I see one tweet that's the worst humanity, I just can't.

Not worth my health, for a single second.

The handle and account I'm keeping but I'm going to strip everything away.

On the note of the next podcast, I was working on it but now I'm disenchanted with the idea,

I was trying to finish the last podcast, but I dunno if your getting the last one. That just might be it
I literally have no words on that, my brain can't process what to say. Other than it's likely over.

The rest of this thread just feels like words, I don't know if it has any meaning or understanding from anyone else.

I think that's the other hard bit, is that I can't tell, if anyone takes in my information and understands.

I want to talk, I have the human social need to communicate but my brain gives up halfway forgets and stutters or has nothing to give.

Then there's the other problem of having no confidence that i actually understand.

Words don't work, I wanna help society, talk about important issues but its not something I can do when words will forever fail me.

Because I don't know if I understand, if others understand. I'm scared, I stutter, I'm non verbal at times, I give no meaning to words.

But I care. But I can't do anything with that care.

How do you care, without words.
I hate that I can't help.
But I can't help.

All I can do is listen, but I can't cope with listening anymore.

This is what autism does to me.