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lgbtqia+ discourse vent thread; by bee
i& #39;m honestly so tired of seeing lgbt discourse on twitter, or any place that isn& #39;t an lgbt discourse forum. it is completely valid to not understand something, or to disagree with something, or even to not support something, but unless
i& #39;m honestly so tired of seeing lgbt discourse on twitter, or any place that isn& #39;t an lgbt discourse forum. it is completely valid to not understand something, or to disagree with something, or even to not support something, but unless
someone is causing *actual* harm, like actual physical, mental and/or emotional harm towards someone else, just stay out of it. at the end of the day we& #39;re all doing the best we can with what we& #39;ve got. i gave up on the bi/pan lesbian debate so long ago. nothing i say is going
to change anybody& #39;s mind. you believe what you believe. so at that point, it& #39;s just a waste of my time and energy. but at the same time, who am i to tell someone else what they can do or what labels they can use. (i am not picking sides on bi/pan lesbians, i am completely
neutral, don& #39;t put words in my mouth.) at the end of the day, they aren& #39;t hurting me. how someone else identifies has no affect on me, and if how someone else identifies has that much of an impact on you, you should reflect on that and figure out why. if you are in therapy, talk
about that. a label someone chooses to use genuinely shouldn& #39;t have that much of an impact on you (in most cases. obviously there are exceptions to everything, i.e, MAPs) a lot of this vent comes from when someone said i "lied/was lying about being a lesbian." currently i use the
term sapphic to make other people as comfortable as possible, but the term lesbian still resonates with me. yes i have a boyfriend. and that& #39;s why i have stopped saying lesbian and started saying sapphic, because i dont want to make it seem like lesbians can just go around and
see a man and randomly fall in love with him. when i started dating my boyfriend, i thought i was bi. we fell in love and afterwards, i slowly realized that i wasn& #39;t really attracted to men. however, like i said, i had already fallen in love and formed an attachment to him
i am also what my therapist describes as "dangerously codependant", so when i get attached to someone and really form a strong connection, it& #39;s almost impossible to break. which has gotten me in a lot of really bad and toxic situations/relationships, but my bf makes me feel safe
and happy. and im not going to just give that up so that i can be a "real" lesbian. how i, or anyone else identifies, is truly nobody& #39;s business but my own. but like i said, i still use sapphic to make others comfortable. it just sucks bc it took a lot of time for me to get
comfortable even considering that i was a lesbian (even before my bf) because of the stigma around the word. so now that im comfy, but using the term makes others uncomfy, kinda sucks, especially since, once again, i dont feel like i am hurting anyone. but i digress.
i guess the point of this was to show you the other person& #39;s perspective. i used to not support he/him lesbians and they/them lesbians and then i became a they/them lesbian and was told that nonbinaries cant use the term lesbian. and being invalidated sucks. im constantly
invalidated. it feels so shitty dude, so im never going to invalidate someone else. even if i disagree with them. it& #39;s not my place. i know that i am not the decider of who is and is not valid, and i guess that& #39;s what im trying to make other people realize. you don& #39;t have to like
someone& #39;s identity, you don& #39;t have to support someone& #39;s identity. you can& #39;t control someone else& #39;s identity, but you do have to respect it. they are still a human being. they deserve respect. you can disagree, you can think it& #39;s wrong, but you do not decide who and what is valid.
