I just said something to my son that stuck with me for longer than it should until I realized that it was ‘cause that’s exactly what I’ve been telling myself forever... and it’s hard and exhausting. Since I feel the need for advocacy for the Hispanic community, here is the story:

My youngest son (20) is doing an internship/workshop in a national agency. All via zoom/online so the participants don’t know each other in person. This is the third one he does, so it’s pretty advanced and now is all about writing and reviewing grants. 2/n

Today they had their first review session and all of the sudden I received the following text:
“I have never been so ignored in my life by a bunch of ......” (basically he tried to say a “special group of white people”) 3/n

he explains that they are in a zoom meeting and all what people see is their names bc videos are off (his last name is Perez-Lopez). He goes on “I commented about something no one had noticed and the leader of the discussion (someone from this agency) said “sure, I guess”4/n

but basically blew me off. Until minutes later an American woman said exactly the same thing and everyone in love with the comment. (My son is American born here, no English issues). This situation is familiar to many, but for me as a mother it kills me 5/n

because something like this have happened to my sons from early in school, every year. The situation turns around when either we, the parents, introduced ourselves to the teachers or they realized that the Hispanic boy that gets 100s is not cheating and is actually clever.6/n

Well, this time instead of listening and saying I am sorry, I said:
“I think that you should ask for a word and reiterate what you said and build on it. It is an educational moment for them... say something like “as I said and the [white girl] agreed bla bla bla...” 7/n

I continued: “we all have to deal with it and it won't get better on their part. We need to be better at letting ourselves heard. It’s on us” 8/n

So...here it is, this is how we deal with biases and discrimination. We higher and higher the standards for ourselves. The problem is, many are lost in the way. The additional resilience and grit that is needed to “make it” is exhausting. 9/n

Let’s be better. Let’s listen to each other regardless of how we sound, how we look, or what our names are. This is specially important with our students. This is when they either “go for it” or not. Our responses matter. Be vigilant. 10/10