Hey all, it’s #AceWeek2020, and since it’s the middle of the week I figured it would be a great time to talk about being a Grey Asexual (AKA Greysexual or grAce).

Follow along with this thread if you are so inclined.

“Graysexual” describes someone who is on the Asexual spectrum & occasionally experiences sexual attraction. There are labels that describe specific criteria for sexual attraction to occur (ie Demisexual & Fraysexual) but those of us who don’t fit those labels are simply Grey.

For me personally, I will sometimes develop a sexual attraction to someone I feel a connection with (like Demisexuals). Other times it will be a random occurrence. Now done if you might be thinking “well yeah, that’s how it works for everyone.” HOWEVER...

... I’ve experienced sexual attraction for 6 or 7 people in the last decade. It’s not a common occurrence for me. For the most part, my interactions with people are completely devoid of any sexual attraction.

And that has nothing to do with anyone’s attractiveness, physical or otherwise. A lot of my friends are objectively very attractive, both physically and mentally, but the urge to bone them simply isn’t there.

One thing I’ve encountered a lot on the internet is confusion over how I can be married and have kids if I’m on the Ace spectrum. Being aspec doesn’t make me celibate or sterile, my dears.

Celibacy is a choice and not everyone who chooses it is asexual. People who choose to be celibate have a variety of reasons for doing so and their choices should be respected. It’s just as ok to say no as it is to say yes.

Ppl on the Ace spectrum who choose to have sex also have a variety of reasons for doing so. Some of us actually enjoy the physical sensations. That doesn’t change the fact that we are, for the most part, immune to other ppl’s attractiveness.

Another thing I’ve seen asked is why have Ace Week at all? Why celebrate not experiencing sexual attraction at all? Well, I didn’t know the Ace spectrum existed, and that I was in it, until my early 30s. Imagine how less confusing my teens & 20s would have been had I known.

I thought feeling romantic attraction meant automatically feeling sexual attraction and hooo boy was I wrong. We can do as much damage to ourselves trying to force a feeling as others can do to us.

Talking about Asexuality on social media helps people who are questioning or are afraid to come out by letting them know they aren’t alone. No one should have to live their lives feeling broken.

So, that’s me in a nutshell. I’m here if you ever want to ask me anything (as long as it’s being asked in earnest and you aren’t trying to be a gatekeeping dick).