Trump is about to hold a pandemic rally in Bullhead City, Arizona. Follow for a video thread.

"A safe vaccine is coming very quickly. You're gonna have it momentarily," Trump claims, as if a vaccine will be available any second now

"He should've never been the candidate" -- Trump is definitely whining like a guy who thinks he's losing

"It's windy as hell out here" -- Trump complains about the weather wherever he goes

"I had a leader of a country call up. He's a very tough leader, tough as hell. They're gonna figure it out, maybe ... And he said, 'I hope Biden doesn't win because he's always sleeping'" -- Trump makes stuff up

It's October 2020 and Trump fans are chanting "lock her up!" about Hillary Clinton while Trump bashes her

Trump is derailed by feedback, then he says, "whoever did this microphone, don't pay them. You know I have a reputation for not paying."

Trump does that thing where he bashes the media for not broadcasting something they just broadcast

Trump claims that Biden wants to ban weddings, graduations, and even Thanksgiving

"When you have spaghetti and meat sauce, that mask is not looking [good]. You walk out, it looks like you got into a fight with Dana White" -- Trump denigrates mask wearing during a pandemic

Trump muses about how Joe Biden would fare if he fought in UFC, and how it would go if the two of them fought. Things are getting weird.

Whoever is in charge of Trump's mics for this speech is antifa

Trump does his bit about jumping into the crowd during a pandemic and kissing all the men and women

when someone in my house microwaves fish

don't threaten me with a good time!

Trump claims that representatives of Kosovo and Serbia were in the Oval Office "hugging and kissing and saying how much they love each other" after Trump brokered a deal between them

People don't realize that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican -- drink!

Trump jokes about sending Nancy Pelosi to Mars

"Blood on the sand" -- take another drink!

It took a beat for Trump, who is accusing his opponent of being in cognitive decline, to remember what city he's in. He blames it on the teleprompter.