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Hey, guys. It’s ace visibility week.
I’m
demisexual
, which means I’m on the ace spectrum.
Talking about this terrifies me, which is why I probably should. Why is it scary to talk about? Because it’s really easy to misinterpret and twist what it means.
Thread time.
I’m
demisexual, which means I’m on the ace spectrum.Talking about this terrifies me, which is why I probably should. Why is it scary to talk about? Because it’s really easy to misinterpret and twist what it means.
Thread time.
What does it mean, being demisexual? Well, have you ever met a person you weren’t attracted to at all at first, but then after getting to know them you suddenly felt an attraction towards them?
Well, that’s the only way it works for us.
Well, that’s the only way it works for us.
Do you have a monosexual orientation, aka, you’re only attracted to one gender? Have you ever felt any attraction towards someone of the gender you’re not attracted to? Yeah, that’s how demisexuals feel towards literally everyone when they first meet them.
That’s it: we don’t feel any sexual attraction towards people, the same way an ace person would, until we’ve formed a connection with them and, sometimes, there’s a spark, and then we may be sexually attracted to them, like an allosexual person would.
Hence: ace *spectrum*.
Hence: ace *spectrum*.
Being demisexual is not being a romantic, or wanting to wait until you really get to know a person, or “not seeing the outside, only the inside”, or not having libido, or being scared of sex.
It literally means we don’t feel attraction on a primary level, not even if we tried.
It literally means we don’t feel attraction on a primary level, not even if we tried.
Why do we need such a “specific” label to define ourselves, do we just want to feel special?
Well, labels are not boxes, they’re vocabulary we can use to understand our experience of the world. When I first learned the word, my first thought was “oh, so I’m not broken then?”
Well, labels are not boxes, they’re vocabulary we can use to understand our experience of the world. When I first learned the word, my first thought was “oh, so I’m not broken then?”
As everything, use this vocabulary only if it’s useful to you, reach out if you’re confused or suffering in any way because of issues related to this, and discard it the second you feel it’s doing you more harm than good. But don’t you dare doubt or mock anyone for using it. 
That’s all, my dms are open if you need support or someone to talk to (it does wonders for me to have a support group to not feel like I’m crazy or broken.)
Love and support for all my fellow aces, ily.
Love and support for all my fellow aces, ily.
