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Last week I asked people to “submit your company landing page” and I’d rewrite it.
Well, we did it! I teamed up with Annie Maguire, one of the best copywriters in the business.
Hopefully, this gives you an insight into the mind of a pro copywriter.
THREAD...
Well, we did it! I teamed up with Annie Maguire, one of the best copywriters in the business.
Hopefully, this gives you an insight into the mind of a pro copywriter.
THREAD...
1/ Everydae
Put yourself in the customer's shoes. Kids don't care about “the next generation of SAT prep”. They care about “Acing the SAT”.
We also pulled up the $1 trial. And made the “five stars” feel REALER.
Put yourself in the customer's shoes. Kids don't care about “the next generation of SAT prep”. They care about “Acing the SAT”.
We also pulled up the $1 trial. And made the “five stars” feel REALER.
2/ Banquist is a unique product.
But they waste their uniqueness with a vague title that could mean fifty different things.
When you've got a unique product the golden rule is *let the product speak for itself.*
But they waste their uniqueness with a vague title that could mean fifty different things.
When you've got a unique product the golden rule is *let the product speak for itself.*
3/ JobBoardSheet
Their current copy is clear. But it's also forgettable. So we looked down their page and found this new line.
It's much more specific. And handles the customer's four main objections in one sentence.
Their current copy is clear. But it's also forgettable. So we looked down their page and found this new line.
It's much more specific. And handles the customer's four main objections in one sentence.
4/ Dormio
Customers' buy *outcomes* not *products*. What's more appealing:
“A calming tea” OR “A calming tea that helps you relax, unwind, and drift into deep, restorative sleep”
Customers' buy *outcomes* not *products*. What's more appealing:
“A calming tea” OR “A calming tea that helps you relax, unwind, and drift into deep, restorative sleep”
5/ Silva
Firstly, “Trail Runner Free” is very confusing. Is that the product? Is it free?
Also, there's no emotional pull. People don't get excited by a new *headlamp*. They get excited by new *adventures*.
So sell the latter.
Firstly, “Trail Runner Free” is very confusing. Is that the product? Is it free?
Also, there's no emotional pull. People don't get excited by a new *headlamp*. They get excited by new *adventures*.
So sell the latter.
6/ Socios
Football fans don't care about “tokens”, “surveys”, and “rewards”.
Take ownership of the *real problem*. Fans are crying out to have their voices heard. Socios solves this. So own it.
Also, add social proof. You're literally working with Barcelona!
Football fans don't care about “tokens”, “surveys”, and “rewards”.
Take ownership of the *real problem*. Fans are crying out to have their voices heard. Socios solves this. So own it.
Also, add social proof. You're literally working with Barcelona!
7/ Counterweight Creative
This one had promise. But the language is too vague. It doesn't feel REAL.
We replaced all their vague words with specific ones. You can't bullshit specifics.
This one had promise. But the language is too vague. It doesn't feel REAL.
We replaced all their vague words with specific ones. You can't bullshit specifics.
8/ Haako
This one's more about *repackaging* than *rewriting*.
You can't expect people to read one huge text block to understand your product.
So we condensed their text block to one sentence. And added an image to bring the product to life.
This one's more about *repackaging* than *rewriting*.
You can't expect people to read one huge text block to understand your product.
So we condensed their text block to one sentence. And added an image to bring the product to life.
9/ Ladybird Driving School
Ladybird's uniqueness is that all their instructors are female. So don't bury it half-way down the page. Lead with it.
*Write the title only you can.*
Ladybird's uniqueness is that all their instructors are female. So don't bury it half-way down the page. Lead with it.
*Write the title only you can.*
10/ That's all folks. You made it!
Massive thank you to Annie. She did the hard work.
She's too cool for Twitter. But here's her site in case you'd like to work with a great copywriter. https://anniemaguire.com/
Massive thank you to Annie. She did the hard work.
She's too cool for Twitter. But here's her site in case you'd like to work with a great copywriter. https://anniemaguire.com/
11/ Thanks for reading.
This took us a while. So if you enjoyed please do share the thread
I know there's 100s of submissions left to go. I'm going to be working through this week.
Expect a DM with some bullet points :) https://marketingexamples.com/copywriting/rewriting-landing-pages
This took us a while. So if you enjoyed please do share the thread
I know there's 100s of submissions left to go. I'm going to be working through this week.
Expect a DM with some bullet points :) https://marketingexamples.com/copywriting/rewriting-landing-pages
12/ If you *really* want to improve at marketing you might you might like my weekly newsletter.
Short, sweet and practical (all free!)
Till next time — Annie + Harry https://marketingexamples.com/subscribe
Short, sweet and practical (all free!)
Till next time — Annie + Harry https://marketingexamples.com/subscribe
