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This afternoon tech entrepreneur Christian Bernét was found dead in the penthouse suite in Bimsley Spa. We are investigating with help from expert coroner @AdrianRMG, and the death is being treated as suspicious. Updates will be posted to this thread.
We’ve identified the victim’s last vlog post before he died, and are currently analysing the footage for anything that might be significant. https://twitter.com/ChrisBernetTech/status/1320816350730854402
Mr Bernét was wearing a pair of his augmented reality glasses when he died, and the inbuilt camera may have recorded some vital footage. Our chief of tech Jim is working on extracting the data using our state-of-the-art tech computer systems.
Apologies for the disruption caused to the staff at Bimsley Spa, who were conducting their promotional photoshoot today. https://twitter.com/BimsleySpa/status/1321434463008661506
This is the wife of Christian Bernet. She appears to be deep in mourning right now. https://twitter.com/BernetNatascha/status/1321416022457491457
We’ve been notified of the Spa’s cleaner, 101 year old Doris (congratulations!), who was the only person apart from Christian and Natascha to have access to the suite. We are trying to make contact.
We’ve discovered Doris’ Twitter account which she seems to think is a search engine. Her “searches” in this thread suggest she was in Mr Bernet’s penthouse suite and was intoxicated and violent. She is now an official suspect. https://twitter.com/serch_google/status/1321149231948845058
Unprofessional. https://twitter.com/DimsleyPolice/status/1321440156143001601
Nonsense, we are not incompetent. As you can see our murder counter is at ONE for this year.
https://twitter.com/DimsleyPolice/status/1321440494199689217
https://twitter.com/DimsleyPolice/status/1321440494199689217
We have been alerted to the victim’s business rival, Dennis Bartholomew. His most recent post suggests a lot of tension between him and Mr Bernet. It can be viewed here:
https://twitter.com/InventorDennis
https://twitter.com/InventorDennis
We’ve found these Tweets from Natascha Bernet which suggest she may have been looking for a dramatic life event to boost her TV career. She is now an official suspect. https://twitter.com/BernetNatascha/status/1320875644482367488
We have been informed that Mr. Bernet’s adopted son, Kyle, was also at the spa. It appears he booked out the function room on the night of the murder for a musical performance.
It seems Kyle Bernet recently released a new song and some of the lyrics raise questions about his relationship with his father. We will analyse further. https://twitter.com/kyleissodopeyo/status/1320810589048942596
An examination of the victim’s phone uncovered this text conversation. It appears Mr Bernet was NOT in attendance at his son’s performance at the Spa. This may have created tension between the two.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: We’ve just received the coroner’s autopsy report. It appears the victim died at around 19:15 last night with a huge amount of Lormetazepam in his blood - a powerful and hard to spell drug found in sleeping pills. https://twitter.com/AdrianRMG/status/1321448597389529095
Here are the official suspects:
Natascha Bernét @bernetnatascha
Dennis Bartholomew @inventordennis
Kyle Bernét @kyleissodopeyo
Doris Clifford @googleserchbar
If anyone has any further information on these individuals, please get in touch.
Natascha Bernét @bernetnatascha
Dennis Bartholomew @inventordennis
Kyle Bernét @kyleissodopeyo
Doris Clifford @googleserchbar
If anyone has any further information on these individuals, please get in touch.
Nonsense we are not strapped for cash. https://twitter.com/DimsleyPolice/status/1321450183411027968
On an unrelated note we are pleased to be accepting sponsorship of this murder case from Frank’s Fishmongers. https://twitter.com/franksfishmonge/status/1321450897961062403
UPDATE: newly uncovered CCTV footage from Bimsley Spa shows suspect Dennis Bartholomew entered the conference suite at the Spa a few hours before the murder. He was not on the guest list and gained entry illegally.
Suspect Dennis Bartholomew denies that he was in attendance. Our experts are analysing this video footage. https://twitter.com/InventorDennis/status/1321452642644725761
UPDATE: after analysis of Mrs. Bernet’s show trailer we have discovered that she was in possession of what appear to be sleeping pills, in the exact quantity that the victim ingested.
Mrs Bernet, it is very important that we speak with you directly. Please respond. https://twitter.com/BernetNatascha/status/1321451315642404869
We're aware that the nature of this investigation may be sensitive to some viewers. Here's what you can do if you've been affected by any of the issues.
We’ve discovered a press clipping that describes Kyle Bernet’s performance at Bimsley Spa on the night of the murder. It appears he was in a fit of rage directed towards his father, who did not attend.
We’ve just received some vital new evidence which shows that all suspects were in a corridor near Mr. Bernet’s room shortly before his death.
As you saw there was an altercation between Mr and Mrs Bernet. The CCTV has no audio, so our team of experts have meticulously analysed mouth movements and provided a suggestion of what may have been said.
We are thrilled to announce that with the help of his grandson, Ben, Jim has finally managed to reset the computer after accidentally setting the default font to wingdings. He should have the footage from the augmented glasses soon.
Here is the footage, recorded at 19:13 last night. It seems that the Augmented Reality was active and Mr Bernet consumed 40 sleeping pills thinking they were tic tacs.
Footage recorded at 19:03 shows the glasses’ Augmented Reality software being tampered with to make sleeping pills look like Tic Tacs, and then fingerprints removed. It seems somebody exploited the victim’s addiction to Tic Tacs to force an accidental suicide.
Frank’s Fishmongers brings you the O-FISH-AL murderer poll! Which one of these slippery suspects do you think KILLED Christian Bernet?
Jim’s grandson Ben has just pointed out to us that Twitter profiles have a ‘Tweets and Replies’ tab. We’re therefore hoping we might find some vital evidence in the suspects’ replies.
Aha! One of Doris’ Replies is an accidental livestream at the exact time the headset was tampered with (19:03). It clearly shows Dennis Bartholomew trapped inside a suitcase. This rules out both of them. https://twitter.com/serch_google/status/1321165518380748800
Also, in Dennis’ replies we have found some bizarre plans to sabotage Christian Bernet’s conference speech and humiliate him. Although clearly unhinged he shows no intention to murder Mr Bernet. https://twitter.com/InventorDennis/status/1320777823381037058
New CCTV footage shows Natascha Bernet was in the Spa courtyard at the exact time of the tampering (19:03), otherwise engaged. This seems to exonerate her.
Hang on, the press clipping from earlier clearly describes Kyle Bernet carving the word ‘DAD’ into his body and hands, but the hands that tampered with the headset have no such markings. It looks like Kyle’s out.
Also this tweet shows that Kyle’s threat to “finally do it” was actually referring to apologising to his step-father. https://twitter.com/kyleissodopeyo/status/1321458203092279296
Well looks like we’re out of leads. Another unsolved murder. Fucks sake.
What?? Please send immediately!! https://twitter.com/DimsleyPolice/status/1321459066472943616
Get lost this is not what we need right now. https://twitter.com/DimsleyPolice/status/1321459561904115714
Wait a second… where have we seen that scar before?
Oh my god
DCI Colin Ingman of Dimsley Police Force, you’re nicked.
We always wondered why we had 400 unsolved murders a year, bringing us to shame and leading to your constabulary getting all the funding. I guess now we know why.
All these crime reports of previous unsolved murders are just starting to make sense…
You are under arrest. If you see these tweets please come to our Police Station so we can handcuff you and say the arresting speech.
Thank you Mayor Angela Simpson for visiting our police station and providing us with this council funding! JUSTICE IS SERVED.
