Welcome back night time thoughts

It really pisses me off when I open up about how hard night is for me mentally to people irl and they respond “oh well why don’t you just sleep then?!” Like they think I’m retarded or something, like I forgot the concept of sleep existed and not that I’m terrified of nightmares

I swear my sister didn’t take me seriously at all when talking about how bad night time for me is “oh well if you just slept you wouldn’t have to deal with that” yeah no fucking shit but my nightmares are fucking awful and I’m scared to close my eyes please shut the fuck up!

I don’t even think my parents really care either, I feel like no one in my life actually cares at all about how fucked up night time gets me, they think I’m over reacting or something or they just genuinely don’t care when I tell them I have suicidal thoughts all night.

Maybe they think I’m just begging for attention or something, witch I fucking hope not, Irl I hide my feelings until the emotional build up hits the point where it over flows. I hide my emotions until I get into an argument with my parents and my emotions built up too much.

Idk I think about it and wonder what I would actually want them to do about it and I guess I just come up blank. What is there to even actually do about it? My parents and my own body hate when I try to live on a nocturnal schedule, I don’t want them checking in every 3 seconds

To see if I have killed myself, they can’t really give me any advice to help other then distract yourself with music or something, witch doesn’t really help because I already ALWAYS sleep with a podcast on. The whole thing seems so fucking helpless.

Idk this thread is probably really fucking gay and no one probably cares, it will probably annoy people more then anything that I’m being a pathetic cry baby or whatever, and it probably isn’t healthy to post this kind of stuff on the internet but idc it’s all meaningless anyway

This has been my night time thoughts for tonight thank you for joining me in my sad corner of the internet to hear me whine, I’ll be back to horny posting and random facts about me posting when the sun is up. Sorry if your annoyed that this is on your timeline.