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OKAY. OKAY.
This is for the wordsmiths!
For years, I've been looking for a word or phrase to specifically describe that wondrous but uncanny sensation of stepping into an unremarkably familiar space, and suddenly finding that it is changed, awash in an inexplicable novelty.
This is for the wordsmiths!
For years, I've been looking for a word or phrase to specifically describe that wondrous but uncanny sensation of stepping into an unremarkably familiar space, and suddenly finding that it is changed, awash in an inexplicable novelty.
I searched languages that were more sincere in their expression of sensation and emotion than English, which lies about those things. I'd hoped that Arabic, German, or Bambara covered it. I don't speak any of those, so I prolly shouldn't be surprised I was unsuccessful.
I've been basically haunted by this my whole life. The first time I remember feeling it, I was a kid. I had just put on my first pair of glasses. I could SEE. The next time, I was still a kid, sobbing and shakily disembarking from that amusement park nightmare, the Rainbow.
The first time I remember feeling it as an adult was...*ahem* stepping outside of my paramour's apartment building for a smoke after making love for about 14 hours.
LOL. Anyway.
Getting off that amusement park ride, I remember feeling SO GRATEFUL that I wasn't dead. It was a warm day, but my teeth were chattering, and my knees were trembling. As I descended the stairs off the ride, and my friends acted like they didn't know me, EVERYTHING looked changed.
Having that cigarette, I felt deeply contented and...safe. I'd just had dope but maybe unnecessarily athletic sex with a man who I was crazy about, who was crazy about me. I was so satisfied and pleased that it radiated from me. And when I looked up at the sky, it was changed.
Welp, today, I accidentally stumbled on it: jamais vu. Which I really should have known, since I have some French. It's literally just the opposite of deja vu. I figured it would have some kinda reference to magic or a fairy, but, nope. Just jamais vu. Who knew?
