Read on Twitter
hmm. thinking about Follow era.
this is gonna get personal so cw / depression
tw // depression
at this time a year ago I was at the lowest I had been in years. I wasn't happy with my living situation, I felt so alone and so stressed. I was just not okay and I knew it but didn't have the time nor the willpower to do anything abt it.
at this time a year ago I was at the lowest I had been in years. I wasn't happy with my living situation, I felt so alone and so stressed. I was just not okay and I knew it but didn't have the time nor the willpower to do anything abt it.
tw // depression
MX had been my constant for two years at that point. they were truly, genuinely a crutch for me to lean on. Follow came at such a perfect time and the album was my favourite they had released so far. I was so excited to have /something/ good in life.
MX had been my constant for two years at that point. they were truly, genuinely a crutch for me to lean on. Follow came at such a perfect time and the album was my favourite they had released so far. I was so excited to have /something/ good in life.
tw // depression
it's not that I lived a bad life, but you know how mental illness goes.
I was so fucking happy whenever I watched new MX content. I remember crying while watching the Follow relay dance because it brought me so much joy that I hadn't felt in so long.
it's not that I lived a bad life, but you know how mental illness goes.
I was so fucking happy whenever I watched new MX content. I remember crying while watching the Follow relay dance because it brought me so much joy that I hadn't felt in so long.
tw // depression
little did I know a week later it would all come crumbling too. maybe I sound dramatic but it really did feel like everything was falling apart.
little did I know a week later it would all come crumbling too. maybe I sound dramatic but it really did feel like everything was falling apart.
tw // depression
I feel like I lost part of myself in the fight for him, but I was so desperate. the one thing that was holding me together was being forcefully ripped apart.
I feel like I lost part of myself in the fight for him, but I was so desperate. the one thing that was holding me together was being forcefully ripped apart.
tw // depression
slowly it felt like everything was going downhill & this time I didn't have a crutch. I ended up falling into an incredibly toxic friendship & I lost sight of how much money I was spending just to support the boys despite no longer having a stable income.
slowly it felt like everything was going downhill & this time I didn't have a crutch. I ended up falling into an incredibly toxic friendship & I lost sight of how much money I was spending just to support the boys despite no longer having a stable income.
tw // depression
ah this is getting so long. eventually I started going to therapy regularly and while it didn't last long (covid), it was a start. and then I got myself out of that friendship and that living situation.
and then he came home, finally.
ah this is getting so long. eventually I started going to therapy regularly and while it didn't last long (covid), it was a start. and then I got myself out of that friendship and that living situation.
and then he came home, finally.
but some days I'm still bitter. because we fought so hard and while he's back and my heart is soothed, it still doesn't negate that what happened was wrong.
and that, with the culmination of my own personal issues, is why Follow hurts so much.
and that, with the culmination of my own personal issues, is why Follow hurts so much.
the point of this was just for me to clear my head bc it's been on my mind ever since the start of the month.
I'm so proud of us for bringing him back. I'm so thankful he's by our side.
but man. I still want actual fucking justice.
I'm so proud of us for bringing him back. I'm so thankful he's by our side.
but man. I still want actual fucking justice.
tw // depression
also while I obviously still struggle with mental health issues, I'm in a better place now. it's just... almost traumatic to think back to that time because I really, really struggled with the mere notion of existing and the situation really didn't fucking help.
also while I obviously still struggle with mental health issues, I'm in a better place now. it's just... almost traumatic to think back to that time because I really, really struggled with the mere notion of existing and the situation really didn't fucking help.
anyways, end of thread, I'm sorry I subjected all y'all to this 
