Did my presentation on tropes & stereotypes in LGBTQ+ representation for library workers in a professional development class today. Someone shared an opinion piece they read the gist of which was frustration queer narratives so often focus on sexual/romantic relationships. 1/

Reading the piece after my presentation brought up so many complicated feelings and tangled thoughts for me.

On the one hand, as I responded to the student, it is absolutely true that one way queer people have been stereotyped is by being ONLY sexualized. 2/

And it's important to ensure queer people don't only get to be included when sex and gender are the salient topic.

Also, we are aware that not every queer person WANTS sex or a sexual/romantic relationship. And that doesn't make them less queer. 3/

The struggle I personally, and as a scholar-advocate, have with the "stop making queerness about sex and relationships!" argument though is that a huge part of what folks object to re: queer people is how we do sex and relationships. 4/

We're still fighting the bury your gays/dead lesbian syndrome tropes in media that mean queer characters who have the audacity to find sexual intimacy and love that works for them DIE for their sins. 5/

We still live in a culture where people think bisexuals are "unstable" and trans women don't deserve safe and committed romantic relationships. Where Obergefell is under threat and poly families are still beyond the pale of legal marriage. 6/

I don't know what to do with that tension of important truths: Yes, queer people aren't only sexual and sexual-relational beings ... yet *also* for many (most? a plurality?) of us that is a key part of ourselves that is under unique threat because we are queer. 7/

So I'm not sure how comfortable I am with complaints that queer sexuality and/or queer romance are somehow over-emphasised in literature. It feels really close to the policing of our bodies in public: Just don't hold hands. Just don't kiss. Just don't *flaunt* it. 8/

At the same time, of course, the author of the column was absolutely right that it doesn't take sexual activity or relationships to make us queer. We are that all on our own. So I guess we hold these things in hopefully fertile tension. 9/9