so when people (not just trans lesbians but also cis lesbians and others) talk about how relationships with political lesbians are often unsatisfying, it refers to political lesbians who call themselves lesbian because they hate men, not because they love women.

I've heard more than a few stories about such relationships and the common takeaway is that the sex is just bad and often passionless. Obv this isn't going to be true in every case, but the entire point of political lesbianism is to appropriate lesbianism for political ends.

It's no coincidence that many of the loudest "lesbians" accusing trans lesbians of stealing fire from the sun or whatever are such political lesbians.

Also, a relationship does not have to include sex to be a good relationship, but I am definitely not talking about ace lesbians (and I considered myself one for a decade before my sexuality shifted this year).

Also bi and pan lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, he/him lesbians, m-spec lesbians, and other lesbians are fine.

I guess I should also add, you don't have to do it for politics or whatever, if you want to be a lesbian be a lesbian. If you want it that badly you probably are a lesbian already. But the lesbian community is not a receptacle for cis women who hate men.