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I just need somewhere to write this because the life of an artist is...unpredictable. For example: I run an Etsy for extra money where I sell mostly embroidery. A medium I picked up literally this year. I started with portraits. Human portraits.
I have the skill to sketch a face *fairly* accurately with a pen. When I use pencil, maybe charcoal, oooh boy I’m on a roll. But that only sells when people have a very niche idea and some money to spend. Portraits take HOURS and are not free lmao
Then I suddenly discovered theatre’s scenic painting and thought that was the best career choice EVER and I love it so dearly. Unfortunately and obviously the theatre industry is a disaster right now like the rest of the world.
I’ve experimented with so many mediums and don’t even want to know how much money has gone into that, and some are better than others. My huge watercolor phase was fun and refined that skill a lot.
Now? I’m a beginner embroiderer trying to sell random shit online to other broke people.
And I have so. Much. More. Literally hundreds of photographs of art I’ve done in every medium, style, etc. that I’ve tried. Some never ended up anywhere because it was not my thing. I’m lightly digging through my pictures to find examples and they’re everywhere.
All of this not to brag in the slightest, but to say it’s okay that I’m working at a restaurant and running an Etsy. I have commissions scheduled into January, and sometimes because I make so much for others, I forget that creating IS impressive. I have done so much.
My entire life I’ve watched my skills wax and wane and develop into what they are today. Every single sketch I make has years of practice behind it.
As an artist, especially in today’s world, it’s way too fucking easy to be convinced I don’t do enough. I don’t make enough. I’m not fast enough. I’m not good enough.
But look. Especially since mid-high school, I’ve been REFINING myself as an artist. As a human.
But look. Especially since mid-high school, I’ve been REFINING myself as an artist. As a human.
And while I may not be creating as a main source of income right now, I’m still an artist. Jesus, I mean I’m making something constantly.
My energy is sucked by my job and I forget that’s normal. I view art as if it SHOULD be my main deal when I have another job and realistically it just can’t be some days.
It’s okay to take my time. Art does that. I’m an impatient person which does not bode well as an artist also, but I’m still learning and always will be.
FUCK CAPITALISM FOR CONVINCING ARTISTS THAT THEIR ROLE AS SUCH IS DEFINED BY THE AMOUNT OF INCOME IT CREATES. Living in a capitalist society is hard for everyone and the unrealistic expectations for artists is CRUSHING.
Okay. I think about ALL of this a lot. I’m not even going to try to edit this thread or I’ll be here for an hour.
Any other artists, please know you’re enough. I would never look at another and say they weren’t, so why the fuck am I doing it to myself?
I work hard. So much so that I burnt out in college for the arts. So much that I’m restless now when I sit at home not creating. But I’m good enough no matter what.
I’m good enough if i take a day off. I’m good enough when my skills are shaky. I’m good enough when my art is taking more time than I expect it to. I’m good enough even when someone else questions that. I’m fucking good enough.
I’m a fucking artist. That’s so fucking cool. And I lose that fact with all the bullshit. But damn. Us artists are badass. We fight so hard and are so under appreciated yet so necessary.
We’re all enough. It’s not me vs. all other artists. It’s we. We’re ALL good enough. And that’s me too.
