So guys I dated this guy from mid 2006 until early 2010. He was the love of my life and the first 2 years of our relationship was nothing short of amazing https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts"> ne kemo rata and the feeling was mutual...my family knew and adored him https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💖" title="Funkelndes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Funkelndes Herz"> let’s call him Zee https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lächelnden Augen">

Thread https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧵" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread">

...trouble started when Zee first cheated on me with his cousin’s bestie https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Weinendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Weinendes Gesicht"> that was my first ever heartbreak and it didn’t help that she was older and pretty and I was just a varsity first year https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💔" title="Gebrochenes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Gebrochenes Herz">. Fine he apologized and everything was hunky dory but we were never the same after

... You see, men lie. They start fearing your tears and promising to never hurt or make you cry again; and Zee was also a typical man https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen"> until my tears stopping shaking him. He’d share his Facebook passwords and then go and open another ghost account and text girls from it https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">

Haai man when they say a relationship starts becoming toxic they meant us https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht"> I went on to call high school girls to female colleagues until I was like neh man, this guy otlo mpethisa TOP https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤕" title="Gesicht mit Kopfbandage" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Kopfbandage"> coz already neke utlwa gore ke thoma go gafa...we were apart for like 2 months...

...After 2 months he calls me “hey we need to talk” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💃🏽" title="Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💃🏽" title="Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)"> oh boy was I looking forward to the call coz I also missed him https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👩🏽‍🦯" title="Frau mit Taststock (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau mit Taststock (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👩🏽‍🦯" title="Frau mit Taststock (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau mit Taststock (mittlerer Hautton)"> He tells me how he refuses to live without me & would do anything to keep me. Yes I missed him but I was all out of chances to give https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😥" title="Enttäuschtes, aber erleichtertes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Enttäuschtes, aber erleichtertes Gesicht"> he broke me

...He is like you don’t believe I love you? Let me marry you keo prove’le...marry me with what? You work a junior position job & I’m still at school, I know your finances you are in no position to lobola me...cheese boy yako Hillview ere ko bari yago Rockville “let’s elope” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😍" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen">

...I’m getting married y’all https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💃🏽" title="Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💃🏽" title="Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman dancing (mittlerer Hautton)">. Well the plan was, we go to home affairs, become Mr & Mrs (wanted his beeches to know I won), then later when he has gathered the money he’d write a letter to my family and lobola negations would start https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clownsgesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Clownsgesicht"> it felt right, but our secret meantime

...I call in to set an appointment at Home Affairs, they tell us we need witnesses so I take my then roommate & him his cousin https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👩‍❤️‍👨" title="Pärchen mit Herz (Frau, Mann)" aria-label="Emoji: Pärchen mit Herz (Frau, Mann)"> the day comes, it was a Monday I bunked lectures & went to get hitched https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎉" title="Partyknaller" aria-label="Emoji: Partyknaller">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎉" title="Partyknaller" aria-label="Emoji: Partyknaller">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎉" title="Partyknaller" aria-label="Emoji: Partyknaller"> ululate guys kgante jealous keya eng?? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">. It literally took 20 mins

...I am Mrs M https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts">, we go to Wimpy to have celebratory brunch then he goes to work, he was working afternoon shift https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen"> oh hubby https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥰" title="Smiling face with 3 hearts" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with 3 hearts"> I am back to being his favourite girl, he changed his Facebook status & tagged me. People congratulated us but thought we weren’t serious...

... Fast forward I get robbed ko Sunnyside and they take my bag with all my belongings inside including my maiden surname ID https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht"> yoh...but no worries, I’ll go to Home Affairs and do another one my hubby gave me his secondary bank card moshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😎" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit Sonnenbrille" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit Sonnenbrille">

...I get to Home Affairs & after such long queues they printed my ID with the wrong surname https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht"> excuse me, yes I am not yet using hubby’s surname please change it back...turns out it doesn’t work like that https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😏" title="Grinsendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht"> OMG I’m married married? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t! Haai it’s done, might as well practice my new surname https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤓" title="Nerd-Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nerd-Gesicht"> I go replace my other cards, including bank card ko Absa (bloody snitches) https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">. The only people that had my back was TUT coz I could print my student card replacement as is so even my friends didn’t know

Fast forward this broke afternoon I ask my mom to deposit me R150 nyana daar & she says “I’ll do it later” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥳" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥳" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face"> fine she delivers, gets inside the bank & fills in a deposit slip with Miss G Motsumi and the cashier is like “sorry ma’am, this account number belongs to Mrs G Mb..”

...because mom knew that surname she knew it wasn’t a coincidence https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht"> calls me on some “yeei wena, why ko Absa bao bitsa ka surname ya Zee? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Symbolen über dem Mund">. I froze, hung up & switched my phone off for 4 full days https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> I didn’t go home for 2 months..and THAT is how Absa betrayed me

THE END