I am at Legoland. It is raining. Hard.

‘The queue’s moving, daddy, the queue’s moving.’

It’s not though, is it.

I’ll tell you what, it’s no Peppa Pig World.

Will trade my first born for a coffee shop.

Come the revolution the queue jump pass is the first thing to go.

You can sample the world’s finest delicacies - all the truffles, caviar, iberico ham - or, for the same price, you can purchase a bean burger and chips at Legoland.

Legoland: teaching children about the joy of play and adults about the brutality of captive markets and monopoly capitalism.

The person who said time is just a concept never stood in a queue at Legoland.

‘You think this is the end of the queue? Oh, bless you my sweet summer child’

It’s raining again

Exit through the gift shop. But first there’s a queue to get in.

We are home. The boys had an amazing time. Everyone enjoyed lots of memorable moments in the rain. I’ve been on three day stag dos that cost significantly less.