I want to clarify something. My unit split back in March when COVID hit - some of the staff choosing to rotate through our self made COVID ICU, the other half preferring to stay in our trauma ICU. Due to my asthma & my daughter with asthma, I opted not to care for COVID patients.

However, due to the surge of patients we are experiencing now, we are now all expected to rotate through unless we get a note of medical exemption. I spoke at length with my pulmonologist & we agreed given the adequate PPE my hospital has, I am safe to care for these patients.

So while I’m leery & honestly quite anxious about it, I have phenomenal teammates who have more than paid their dues. They’re tired. They need & deserve a break. But they won’t get one. I’ll just join them. There are too many patients for them to step away.

All this to say, please do not call me a hero or thank me for my care. I honestly feel like I’ve bailed on my coworkers, my patients & my community for the last seven months by not jumping in feet first to join them in the COVID ICU.

I shadowed today & cared for my first patient with COVID. It was surreal, unsettling, intense, lonely & sad. And that was one patient, for part of one shift. Now imagine feeling that heaviness every shift, every patient, for seven months and counting. My coworkers are incredible.

Please wear a mask. Please keep your distance. Pleased sacrifice now so everyone you love is still here in the other side of this pandemic. Loving people now looks different. I believe in us but something has to change. You’re breaking those simply trying to save us all.