There is a great emotional toll that comes with watching white people collectively wake up to racism. It's difficult to put to words. I'm torn apart knowing that you care *now.*

My heart goes out to all of the BIPOC who are enduring so much right now.
There has been SO much demand for emotional labor from BIPOC recently. Expecting a BIPOC person in your life to be your anti-racism educator or divulge their racial traumas is white supremacy at work— yes, even if you think you’re close.
Like other traumas, recounting and discussing racism is re-traumatizing for BIPOC. Conversations about racism are a hotbed for more racial trauma — bigotry, tokenism, stereotyping, etc.
And these conversations are happening because you know that you don’t know what you should know. It’s like saying you want to try archery, and you want me to help you learn by holding the target. I’m in a position that you’re not in— my well-being is at stake.
So should these conversations be segregated? Hard no. Research shows that segregated anti-bias efforts are less effective, which is... logical. Invite everyone into these discussions, allow BIPOC a choice to opt out and space to participate however we like. Prioritize our safety.
“But shouldn’t we be learning from BIPOC?” Yes! Read our books, believe us, and listen when we speak. There are so many resources readily available. And you can learn from us in a way that doesn’t require additional emotional labor.
BIPOC folks: unless you feel called to say or do something, just rest. If we devoted our whole lives to anti-racism work, racism would still be getting our whole lives. Resist in other ways: rest, joy, creativity, slowing down, art, your passions.
White folks: Prioritize our safety over your comfort. Give us the benefit of the doubt. Practice anti-racism daily. You better be reeeally good at anti-racism work before you even think about asking me to hold the target.
You can follow @mariejbeech.
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