1. I was talking to another carer a couple of years ago, and it really struck me how I differ to a parent ... because although we provided similar care and attention to very similar loved ones with a similar disability...

2. My situation just wasn& #39;t comparable to hers. She had her 20s and the majority of her 30s to herself. She worked, got married and had two other children and bought a house before care for someone with a disability entered her life.

3. Having a child with a disability is a transformative experience for anyone but the & #39;natural& #39; responsibility here, though huge, generally falls to the parent(s) - as it does with an able child. Now, I believe that parent-carers deserve every economic support & service possible.

4. But it is a different thing when the & #39;natural& #39; progression of things, i.e having a life, relationship and family of your own is actually prevented by caregiving for someone who isn& #39;t your child, with little chance or enough time to build a life or experience much beforehand.

5. Solutions for all carers:
-- Strong economic support
-- No spousal means test
-- No welfare discrimination
-- HQ local residential, respite & day services
-- Reform to the loco-parentis rule
-- Specific housing supports
-- Well resourced & efficient health (disability) system.