1. I was talking to another carer a couple of years ago, and it really struck me how I differ to a parent ... because although we provided similar care and attention to very similar loved ones with a similar disability...

2. My situation just wasn't comparable to hers. She had her 20s and the majority of her 30s to herself. She worked, got married and had two other children and bought a house before care for someone with a disability entered her life.

3. Having a child with a disability is a transformative experience for anyone but the 'natural' responsibility here, though huge, generally falls to the parent(s) - as it does with an able child. Now, I believe that parent-carers deserve every economic support & service possible.

4. But it is a different thing when the 'natural' progression of things, i.e having a life, relationship and family of your own is actually prevented by caregiving for someone who isn't your child, with little chance or enough time to build a life or experience much beforehand.

5. Solutions for all carers:
-- Strong economic support
-- No spousal means test
-- No welfare discrimination
-- HQ local residential, respite & day services
-- Reform to the loco-parentis rule
-- Specific housing supports
-- Well resourced & efficient health (disability) system.