The year is 2027 and the country is finally recovering from the pandemic, with Prime Minister Dawn Butler announcing a return to Tier 7, the lowest for years. Citizens will finally be allowed to take off masks when eating, drinking and driving alone...

...toilet paper rations to be increased dramatically to 1 roll per person per month and maternity hospitals, which have gone unused for years, are being converted into makeshift Nightingales in case Shagger Ferguson's predictions finally come true. Opposition Leader David Icke...

... continues to oppose the restrictions, insisting that lizard rights are human rights.

The weather forecast has been cancelled due to no one being allowed outside in years.

Stay indoors. Flatten the country. Protect the NHS.