CW: talk of food, restrictive eating, money
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One thing I find difficult as a disabled person who lives alone is managing food.

I'm constantly trying to balance buying enough food for the month and having it not go to waste before the next time I need to buy food.

But it can be really hard. My body makes it really hard.

Flare ups happen randomly, some days I can barely get around my house because my legs don't want to work, my ibs causes me at times to feel sick and as a result, my food will go bad. Fresh or frozen, it will sometimes go bad and I will waste food & money.

And sometimes even if I can cook, I won't be able to eat it all in time before it spoils in the fridge because of reasons mentioned above.

I always feel guilty when I have to throw out food. I feel like I'm not spending my money wisely and just food waste in general.

There are times I wish I had someone with me who could help me eat the food I make so at least nothing goes to waste.

At times, I sometimes refuse to buy groceries and don't eat for days because of the guilt. Also not to mention I get sad because I sometimes buy things I'm excited to eat to find it went bad before I had a chance to.

And some will say to get meal kits, which i do at times but again you still have to cook and it will go bad. & frozen meals can be difficult because I don't have room for a microwave which is usually the way those foods need to be heated up. & take out takes a toll on my wallet.

I just wish sometimes I had help consuming and making food so nothing goes to waste. Pre-covid it was a bit easier because I was more active, had more energy & access to all my doctors. I don't know. I'm just really frustrated right now and reflecting on all of this.

I had some tomatoes go bad tonight when earlier they were fine and I just got them. So I feel my brain just telling me why bother getting more groceries.

I'm trying to find a balance and trying to make sure I feed myself. And fight off the fear of buying food and wasting it.

I know food going bad happens, but it just something I can't afford always. I don't know how to close this thread. I just needed to vent a bit.

I just want my body to work with me so we can get through this pandemic and I just want my food to not betray me so quickly.

Disability & consuming food is difficult sometimes.