these might be my first holidays w out my mom by me and that’s honestly my main source of frustration so if i have said anything mean/offensive then i am so sorry i have been on edge and even though me and my mom aren’t really close i do love her and miss her by my side so much

to make it clear my mom is alive she just left around 8 months ago (originally cause of a business related trip but the situation is kind of different now) because i don’t want any confusion or anything

sorry if im being dramatic i know it’s not the worst thing in the world and i know that either way if i brought it up while talking to someone i wouldn’t be sobbing about it but it does hurt when im alone and i feel alone and i just start missing having her to talk to whenever i-

-feel sad,anxious or have dark thoughts and i would always feel like she would listen and even having that meant so much to me even would just give me a hug as the antidote i would feel happy cause i felt as if she cared enough to give me a hug and be there for me, even though-

- inside i knew she didn’t listen to a single word i said her affection meant more to me than actual advice because i felt loved at the three seconds she would hold me for i would feel fully happy
(ok end of thread im sorry if u actually reas this)