obviously followers aren’t inherently friendships but it seems bizarre to make a post that’s explicitly like “my mutuals aren’t my friends and if you feel differently then you’re warping human relationships” like... let people form and categorize connections the way they want to

there are also different foundations to internet friendships vs irl friendships. as someone who’s been on social media since 2011, i definitely find that the pacing and boundaries operate in unique ways depending on how u meet. your measures of this can be completely arbitrary.

i have twitter, tumblr, and instagram mutuals who i text off of twitter, facetime, and even meet up in person with. online friendships can evolve into very deep and real connections. if we’ve dm’d a few times, i probably consider us internet friends. that’s my personal basis.

what i’m saying is, if someone is isolated and/or makes friends solely through the internet, it’s unlikely yay they think every follow they get is a new friend, but making a point to plant a seed of doubt regarding the validity and depth of those connections might induce anxiety.

regarding softblocking, i’ve had people i consider friends unfollow me out of the blue. it sucks. if you talk to someone frequently and then cut them off, that would hurt like any other friendship ending. it’s just a unique situation because it’s online, and that pain is okay.

it doesn’t mean knocking down their hypothetical door over DMs for answers. maybe we don’t always get closure. but the best we can do is hope that those who have made time to form a connection with us has the ability to be upfront if there’s an issue. that’s what i always do.

how you determine the level of connection you have with someone is personal. maybe you need to talk every week to consider them a friend, maybe they reply to your tweets a lot, or you play among us sometimes. “friend” is a broad concept that captures so many kinds of bonds.

either way, you aren’t hurting anyone or yourself by enjoying a mutual connection on the internet with another person. just be mindful of their boundaries and yours, and you’ll be fine. the diversity of internet connections do not “warp the concept of real friendships.” promise.

one final note: a lot of irl friendships can also become online friendships as people move around and go through life stages (or, hypothetically, if a pandemic happens which requires social distancing)

just sayin’