[ abuse; angst ]

can i have... kacchako... but make ochako get so worked up in a heated fight that she puts her hands on katsuki?

he knows he should leave after, but it hurts his chest when she yells that if he wasn’t the way he was then she wouldn’t want to do that to him.

and he’s too prideful to call it what it is, what the internet accuses it of being when he googles it one night.

he’s so much stronger than her, so much bigger, of course it can’t be... he can’t be ‘abused’ by her. that’s not how it works... right?

if anything, he was yelling.

he’s the intimidating one.

all his life he has had a short fuse and colorful tongue, and time hasn’t yet calmed his bad habits.

so he gets it. he does.

he’s a hard person to love, to be around, and accepts her apologize before she ever lets it leave her lips. not that it did.

but it keeps happening, and he’s bleeding down his lip as the fresh sting of her slap throbs in his cheek.

what they were arguing about is beyond him; his schedule, maybe.

he knows he’s not home as often as he should be, that he can’t help with the chores as much as he should.

she’s hurting, lonely, and how can he even call what they have a relationship if they never see each other anymore?

but this time, unfortunately for them both, eijirou was over their house, and he was standing in the doorway of their bedroom with his hands on his belt.

he was on his way to the bathroom, but he couldn’t help his curiosity when he heard them arguing. screaming.

“you can’t do that.” he accused, and they looked at him. “you can’t... ochako, you don’t put your hands on your partner. that’s not okay.”

“it wasn’t that hard.”

“yeah.” katsuki agreed, humiliation burning in his chest for having been caught in a moment of weakness. “it wasn’t that hard so don’t think i’m hurting.”

eijirou’s in disbelief as the need to urinate fades underneath his concern for their relationship. their health.

“guys...”

“get out. you shouldn’t even be in our room.” katsuki snapped, walking up to the door they had forgot to close.

“katsuki, are you o—“

“i said i’m fine! she doesn’t even hit me that hard! do i look like i can’t take it?” he raised his voice, and eijirou looked behind him.

“eijirou, please leave. katsuki and i just need to talk.” ochako smiled, and katsuki felt his stomach drop.

‘we just need to talk’.

nothing ever goes good when she says that.

“it wouldn’t be right of me t-to just leave my best friend after what i just saw.” eijirou argued.

“your so-called ‘manliness’ has nothing to do with my relationship.” katsuki reminded him. “don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“if you had hit her, do you know how fast all her friends would have jumped on top of you?”

silence bled between them, and katsuki froze.

if he had...

the fist holding eijirou’s shirt loosened as he tried imagining the scenario. his hands on her. blood rolling down her lip with mina being the one who caught them.

he’s be on the floor by now, bruised and bleeding himself. he knows it.

“eijirou, please leave.”

ochako wrapped a hand around his arm, and he looked down at her touch as his fingers twitched, ready to protect himself at a moment’s notice.

“ochako, i can’t leave.” eijirou insisted. “i can’t leave my best friend with you.”

“and why not?”

“because i don’t trust you anymore.”

katsuki licked at the blood dripping down the corner of his mouth, the copper taste sour and familiar on his tongue.

“y-you don’t trust me?” she asked. “it was one time.”

it wasn’t, he wants to argue but can’t find the words to say. it was plenty of times.

she’s a liar.

“bro, please listen to me. even if it is nothing and i’m wrong. just... stay the night at my place tonight.” eijirou begged, and he felt another hand wrap around his other arm.

this time, his fingers didn’t twitch. his muscles didn’t flex.

he wasn’t ready to protect himself.

“what do you think this is, eijirou? a custody battle? he’s my boyfriend.” ochako pulled on his arm as her grasp tightened. “we already kindly asked you to leave our apartment.”

what’s showing more weakness, running away from her fists or running back into her arms?

“ochako, i’m not trying to take him from you. he’s not yours to begin with.” eijirou’s thumb rubbed circles against his opposite arm. “i’m sorry, but i can’t leave until i know he’s safe.”

“do you think i’ll kill him?”

“well, i didn’t think you’d ever hit him yet here we are!”

they’re yelling now, and katsuki’s still too deep in thought over just what he’s supposed to do now that someone has seen these parts of them.

who’s right?

“it was a little slap.”

“and next time it’s just a fractured rib or a broken nose. i can’t trust you!”

who’s wrong?

“well, katsuki trusts me!”

at the mention of his name he jerked out of his head, gasping for a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

eijirou’s eyes met his, and when he turned to his left, ochako was already staring up at him.

“don’t you trust me, baby? i’d never hurt you.”

her other hand reached for his unbruised cheek, and eijirou watched as his eye twitched upon the touch.

“bro...” his best friend whispered, and katsuki ran his tongue over his lip to collect the blood that had pooled in the corner of his mouth again.

he’s done it a lot.

and it’s not just because of his heroics.

“right, katsuki?” ochako repeated, pulling on his arm as he kept his silent ground “you trust me. i’m your girlfriend. i’d never actually hurt you like eijirou’s saying. besides, you’re so strong... it doesn’t even hurt, does it?”

“do you hear yourself?” eijirou gaped at her. “you’re-you’re manipulating him. ochako, you’re abusing him.”

“i’m doing no such thing, don’t make mountains out of molehills!”

there goes that word.

‘abuse’.

is he being abused? he doesn’t think so. not when things are... okay.

he comes home to a plate in the microwave, can cuddle up to his girlfriend throughout the night, gets kissed awake, and gifts out of the blue.

“katsuki, what are you doing just standing there like an idiot? tell him he’s wrong about me. about us.” she rose her voice at him.

but he gets slapped during frequent arguments, yelled at over little things, forced to change his schedule because it doesn’t suit her liking.

now what?

if he stays, is she going to tell him not to be friends with eijirou? who’s next if they find out? deku? denki? shouto?

if he were her... if he had hit her, pushed her, grabbed her arm so hard it feels numb...

if eijirou were mina, or kyouka, or tsu...

if the roles were reversed...

would someone call it abuse?

would they throw his name in articles as a bad man and call her his victim?

he’s a grown man, so of course they would.

he could hurt her, but he could never be hurt by her. no one will call him her victim if they found out, so it’s not abuse.

he’s just weak, and he’s just difficult to be with.

“please listen to me, bro.”

eijirou’s wrong about them.

he has to be.

“i won’t say it again,” katsuki fisted his best friend’s shirt even tighter. “get out of out apartment, eijirou. you’re putting your two cents where no one asked for it.”

“two cents? he gave an entire dollar.” ochako muttered, and eijirou’s grip on his arm left.

“you have to know that she can’t be hitting you, katsuki. come on...” he whispered. “how long?”

“get out.”

“is she... threatening you somehow?”

katsuki’s jaw clenched.

“why are you acting like i’m hurting when i’m not?” he yelled, and eijirou flinched back at the sound.

“do i look weak to you? like i can’t take a little slap? i’m fucking ground zero—of course i’m okay!”

“weak? you think that...” eijirou murmured before sighing. “okay. i-i’ll leave.”

“thank you.” ochako breathed out, and katsuki let go of his shirt as his friend met his eyes.

he can see it. the worry. the sympathy.

he thinks he’s in trouble, that he needs saving or some kind of hero to pull him out.

“i’ll show you to the door.” katsuki said, and ochako let go of him arm as he began to walk beside him.

she followed closely behind. silent. listening.

“bro, you know you could talk to me. if you need me—“

“i don’t.”

“someone who loves you won’t hurt you.” he insisted, and katsuki looked down at the floor. “we’re best friends. no, we’re brothers. i don’t like knowing that she hurts you. it worries me...—“

“it shouldn’t.”

when they got to the door, katsuki opened it, and eijirou picked his boots up before turning to him.

his eyes completely skipped ochako’s looming body.

“and it’s not because i think you’re weak.” he explained softly, one hand holding his shoulder. “i know you’re strong.”

katsuki couldn’t look him in the eyes, so he looked behind his head at the wall.

“you’ve always been strong...”

“we’ll see you around, eijirou.” ochako cut him off. “please drive safe. you never know who’s on the roads.”

“but no one can be unbreakable all the time, katsuki.”

“goodbye, eijirou.” he said simply.

“i’m going. i’m going, but just...” he sighed, eyebrows pinched together as he gives his shoulder a pat. then a tight, comforting more than painful squeeze. “i’m sorry for getting in your business, but you can’t stop me from worrying.”

he glanced over at his girlfriend, and the soft look in his eyes hardened.

“drive safe.” she repeated, and katsuki agreed as a heavy feeling weighed in his chest.

“yeah.” he muttered before stepping out of the door. “see you at work, katsuki.”

“see ya’.” he nodded.

the door shut, and he felt a hand fill his.

“you know i love you, babe.” she said, and he looked down at her before wrapping his arms around her. “eijirou’s just... you know him. his whole ‘manliness’ thing is an excuse to put his opinion in places that it doesn’t belong.”

his hand held the back of her head, rubbing her head softly as she continued to talk bad about him.

“i mean, honestly, who does he think he is? we asked him to leave but he didn’t. we should have called the cops and had him removed. he’s a guest who overstepped his boundaries.”

“eijirou has always had a really big heart—“

“there’s reasons why he has always been single, and it’s because he doesn’t understand. all relationships have their ups and downs. if everyone ended it every time something bad happens, no one would be together!” she scoffed.

right.

“besides, my boyfriend’s the amazing ground zero. someone like me hurting him? pfft.” she smiled, and he hummed as her hand held his bruised cheek. “he’s fought villains three times my size. there’s no way i could ever do anything to hurt you.”

exactly his point.

but part of him can’t help but look at the door, wondering if maybe... possibly...

“now that he’s gone, we should talk about how i don’t want you to talk to him about us.” she instructed. “he’s going to ask, but it’s none of his business, you know? he’s not apart of this.”

he nodded, and then looked down at her, his fingers twitching when her hand leaves his and grabs the other side of his face.

“promise that you won’t tell him anything if he asks you about us?”

“yeah,” he nodded, and she got on her toes to press a kiss against his lips.

“and if he says anything...”

“he won’t.”

“good, because no one’s gonna understand anyways. they’ve never loved you like i have, so their opinions don’t count.” she smiled, and he sighed.

“i’m tired. i think i’m going to shower and head to bed, alright? today was a long day.”

“a long day for you? you were stuck in your air conditioned office all day!” ochako huffed. “i was on my feet for twelve hours straight. if anything, i had the long day—plus i cooked dinner for you and your partner!”

he watched as her arms crossed and cheeks puffed.

“then your partner accused me of abusing you...”

“that must have been so hard for you when i’m the one who’s bleeding.” he deadpanned. “how do i explain this bruise to my agency?”

“just say you got it in an argument with eijirou. you two always bicker anyways.” she shrugged.

“you want me to lie about him for something you did to me?”

“say a villain did it.” she suggested, and he rolled his eyes before taking a deep breath. “anyways, go take your shower. i’m going to wash the dishes—as i always do. even though i slaved in the kitchen for you.”

“if there’s something you want to say to me then fucking say it.” he snapped, and she glared at him.

“you always say you’re tired, but who’s the one who’s actually doing everything?” she asked. “you haven’t left your office in weeks, yet you say you’re ’so tired’ every day.”

“do you want me to do the fucking dishes?”

“i want you to stop expecting me to do it like i’m here to serve you!”

“did i not just ask if you—“ he sucked in a deep breath. “i’ll do the damn dishes before i shower—“

“no, go. you’ve done enough already.” she scoffed at him.

“like letting eijirou say all those things about me—“

“ochako, are you fucking kidding me right now?” he rose his voice. “are you kidding me? i kicked him out—“

“you stood there and let him say i was some kind of monster when i’m the best thing that ever happened to you!”

“the best thing?” he laugher. “you’re picking fights over nothing! this is the third fucking time today. what part of that is good?”

“the part where you get to feel like some kind of alpha male while i, your little girlfriend, does everything for you.” she batted her eyelashes.

“‘alpha male’? you think i feel like some kind of ‘alpha male’ when you go and fucking put your hands on me? you think that makes me feel good?” he yelled. “my best friend thinks that i need to be saved because of you!”

“well do you need to be saved?” she pushed him backwards.

“are you so weak that you need a big, strong hero to save you from your five foot tall girlfriend?” she asked. “that you need eijirou to come to your rescue again?”

his eyes widened, and she rolled her eyes before turning away.

“go shower. i don’t want to see you right now.”

“you’re a bitch.” he said, and she froze mid-step. “bringing shit like that up... saying things like that about me knowing damn well i don’t need anyone to save me. i can save myself!”

“yeah, that’s why you’ve never been anything but a damsel in distress to your friends.”

she continued to walk away, and he clenched his fist before slamming it against the front door.

“i’m leaving.”

“sure you are.” ochako sighed. “where are you gonna go? deku’s? shouto’s? you’ve always been someone who needed saving to them too, you know.”

his teeth grit.

“there’s denki... but let’s be honest, he lives with his mom still, so that’s probably not gonna happen, is it?” she asked. “just go cool off and take a shower, katsuki.”

he could hit her.

he won’t though, and it makes his fists throb from the nails digging into his palms.

no matter how angry he gets with her or how out of control he may come off as, he’d never put his hand on her. that’s just not the kind of person he is.

unless they got inside of a ring and decided to spar... that’s a different story entirely and he’ll gladly go all out.

but when he’s in their bedroom, there’s nothing stopping him from slamming the door shut and then punching the wall.

part of him wishes that he had left with eijirou, that he wouldn’t have to be with her tonight and instead could drink a few beers and crash in his guest bedroom.

“are you kidding me? did you just make another hole for us to patch?” he could hear her shout from the kitchen, and he sighed to himself.

but a bigger part of him can’t help but feel repulsed by the idea of being around his best friend, of having to be ‘saved’ by him.

he’s not a victim. he doesn’t need saving. not from him and not from anyone who thinks he’s too weak to protect himself.

besides, it’s fine.

everything tense between he and ochako will fade away, and come tonight they’ll be cuddled in bed, fast asleep in each other’s arms.

and she’ll kiss him good morning when he wakes up at dawn, and he’ll kiss her goodbye as he works another extra long shift.

she says that she has it so bad being on patrol all day, but at least she doesn’t have an entire agency to take care of with hundreds of employees.

then after she comes home, she doesn’t have to keep a work phone on because she’s never on-call. she can sleep peacefully and let all the other heroes do the work.

she had never had to wake up at midnight for a disaster that doesn’t let her leave until her next shift.

katsuki groaned to himself as he threw open the bathroom door, wincing slightly when the handle bangs against the wall harder than he meant for it too.

and yet another hole that needs to be patched.

oh well.

it won’t be the last he makes in this place, that’s for sure.

the shower’s too hot when he gets inside, but he lets the droplets wash away today’s dirt and the tension in his muscles anyways. even if it burns.

and as the warmth drips down his face, he let out a shaky breath, trying to compose himself. to prepare himself for tonight.

he dreads tomorrow.

there’s nothing he wants more than for eijirou to somehow not be at work, even if it means double the work for him to do.

but eijirou’s a good guy. he’d never leave him with all that work even if it meant going to work sick and dying.

and after today...

asking his best friend not to show up to their agency is like asking for a miracle... and he has never had that kind of luck on his side.

theres no way that he’ll ever miss a day in the near future now that he knows the darkest aspects of his relationship with ochako.

even if it’s not all that there is.

like after his shower, after he was dried off and was lying on bed, and ochako wrapped an arm around his waist before laying her head on his chest.

it feels like everything is okay, like maybe they can get through whatever happens in the day.

if he’s honest, ending each hard day like this is almost enough to make him feel better about the things that were said. almost.

“you smell good... like candy.” she hummed, and he pulled her close to his body. “mm... would you get mad if i just go ahead and take a bite of your—“

“i’ll kill you.” he warned and she looked up at him as her leg slowly slipped over his waist. “alright, get off and lay down. i gotta be up at six.”

her hands cupped his chest, and his fingers wrapped around her legs as he eyed the t-shirt and briefs she had on. both being his.

he grumbled when her lips brushed his jaw, both eyes closed as her hair fell into his face.

“i love you.” she whispered, and he nodded as her kiss lowered. “you know that, right, katsuki?”

“mhm.” he hummed before rolling them over, both of his hands on either side of her head.

“if you stopped wearing my clothes, they wouldn’t need to be washed so soon.” he suggested, and she shrugged her shoulders.

“i wear them because i do your laundry.”

he leaned down to give her one last kiss while murmuring, “i hope you’re ready to be my body pillow, mochi.”

but before he could lay down and fall asleep beside her the way the usually do, one of her hands inched towards his sweats.

“actually, i know you have to wake up earlier than i do and you’re always on-call... but,” she hinted as he met her eyes. “c’mon, it’s been awhile, babe.”

he takes it back.

maybe tonight they wouldn’t get to fall asleep beside each other. maybe they won’t get to end this rough day on a sweet note.

not after she keeps pulling on his sweats even after he said no, giggling like it’s funny.

“babe, you know you don’t take that long.”

“fucking knock it off already.” he hissed before rolling on to his back, shoving her hand away.

“you’re no fun.” she groaned. “katsuki, i know you sleep early and get up as soon as the sun rises, but when was the last time we did it?”

“doesn’t matter. i said no.” he repeated.

turning over, he bitterly pulled his blanket over his shoulders, then felt her arm wrap around his waist from behind.

“are you mad?”

of course he is. this is one part of his day that he could count on, and she ruined it by trying to continue something he already turned down.

“you’re so confusing.” ochako sighed, her nose buried into his shoulder as he stared at his dresser. “so hot and cold...”

“mochi, you were calling me helpless an hour ago and now you want to have sex with me.” he said, and she kissed his shoulder blade. “who’s hot and cold?”

“fine, be a prude then.” she huffed, slipping her arm away. “come hug me.”

caving, he flipped on to his other side and then wrapped his arm around her, burying his nose into her hair.

she’s soft in his arms and so unbelievably warm when her body’s fitted flush against his.

it feels right, and he sighed happily as her fingers slotted in between his.

“why do you like cuddling so much anyways?” she asked quietly, and he took a deep breath.

‘i just want to feel close to you again,’ is what he wants to say, but refrained.

“just because...”