This is a visual journey of a struggle between the morality of being a priest and being a fucking velociraptor. 1:31 already laughed out loud.
Parents dead? Use those miles you racked up being a heathen getting cash advances for the titty bar to travel. Seems kosher. Of course it isn& #39;t, he& #39;s Catholic (I think? Not really clear rn)
Seems he& #39;s traveled to West Virginia. Oh wait, it& #39;s China
Something& #39;s off about methed-out Tom Selleck (older priest)
Saw the first transformation for the Velocipastor. Most accurate thing about this scene is the constant hand-cycling of a 1911
We& #39;re back in "China" to find the robber& #39;s dead body.
Orange ain& #39;t a bad color on Doug https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đź‘€" title="Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Augen"> (Velocipastor)
My cat knocked over a bunch of shit and spilled some of my beer, so obviously she isn& #39;t a huge fan of my life choices
Frankie Mermaid just confessed to killing Doug& #39;s parents!
Doug is making up rules with a hooker (Carol) about murdering bad people as a velociraptor. My life choices aren& #39;t so bad, now are they, cat?
Btw, this soundtracks slaps
Murder/workout montage is always a plus, ngl
Back to "China"

I& #39;m more about seeing Carol and Doug have weird virgin/hooker sex. Show us your pp, Doug
I said Mether-up Tom Selleck in a prev Tweet but I meant Methed-up Sam Elliot. Doug told Methed-up Sam Elliot about his powers. Are they powers? Idk. Inner-monologue time
Methed-up Sam Elliot (MUSE for now) forbade him to go to her and I say act like a pirate and pillage duh booty
MUSE brought in the help of Criss Angel to help Doug. MUSE war flashback, looks like China https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Denkendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Denkendes Gesicht">
What the fuck kinda rifle is that at 38:31?
Obv it was super-duper MARSOC OH SHIT that bitch blew up
This Criss Angel guy reads tarots but he can& #39;t read a room while Doug goes full Veloci-rapture
Plot-twist! Australian Ninjas! Steve Irwin ain& #39;t dead, he& #39;s a fucking shadow warrior
I& #39;m pretty fucking sure dinos can look up, Steve.
It& #39;s time for the sexxxening
Post-sex montage ninja fight choreography rivaled The Matrix
MUSE just got done up by some Christian drug smugglers from China. I am on the edge of my seat. BREAK THE CHAIN OF EVIL, DOUG
PLOT TWIST CHRISTIAN GINGER NINJA IS DOUG& #39;S BRO BRO

56:05 Carol& #39;s got this slutty Russkie vibe. Blyat on my chest anytime
58:16 homegirl Carol looks like an NPC in GTA: Vice City
Masterpiece. 10/10. Anyway, that wraps it up for this thread. Lmk if you want to see more of this shitposting. Love you guys, and good night
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