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for the longest time, since high school, i’ve been suppressing my urge to create and express myself through art. for the longest time, i thought there was no point in pursuing such things. for the longest time i thought i had no future.
that all changed today.
that all changed today.
i’m doing what i want and taking my passions more seriously from here on out, i believe in myself and i believe in my ability to succeed at this. no more compromises. i know i can do this. i feel alive when i do it. i wouldn’t want to do anything else. this is for me.
i’ve never been more confident in anything else other than my writing and my storytelling. my creative interests like film and music. i can feel in my bones this is what i’m meant to do, and i’m not gonna hold myself back anymore with self-loathing. i believe in myself.
almost everything i’ve done up to this point has never been for me. i’ve always made my decisions and acted out of a need to please others or do what others deemed acceptable and smart. no more. i’m doing this for me. i’m good at it. i love it. for once, i’m doing me!
i probably sound manic rn but idc. i apologize to everyone who comes to twitter for negativity and jokes, i just needed to get this off my chest. i confided into my mom about how i’ve been and feeling and she was so supportive, and i’m just happy that i know what i’m doing now.
i’ve been depressed for so long, and everything’s just been so pointless and meaningless to me. i finally feel like there’s meaning in life for me. i feel like there’s a point. i feel like i’ve found my purpose.
i’m just so happy my mom is supportive cause part of the reason that i’ve just been so caught in this fog, and had trouble finding clarity, was cause i never really asked myself what i wanted cause i was scared my mom would disapprove. knowing that’s not the case is freeing.
anyways point being... i’m working towards a goal now. i finally feel like myself again. i feel like living again. i feel alive again.
hopefully this ain’t a manic trip, but i don’t think it is. genuinely never felt like this before, a weight is lifted off my chest now.
hopefully this ain’t a manic trip, but i don’t think it is. genuinely never felt like this before, a weight is lifted off my chest now.
i love y’all, and if you’re gonna take away one thing from this, just do what you want to do. even if you fail at it, at least you’ll never suffer the regret of “what if I did try?”
