I have a public service announcement about keto pizza. I probably don& #39;t need to say more, but I will say, that if your household, unaware, innocent, buys the Foster Farms Brand, you should know...

THAT.
THE.
DOUGH.
IS.
MADE.
OUT.
OF.
CHICKEN.
I can say more. I can say that, when summoned for a bite of the horror, in an attempt to diagnose why it was so horrible, I looked at the ingredients and screamed. As far as I can tell, this "pizza" is puréed chicken random bits mixed with egg edge. It& #39;s rubbery, like sponge.
It& #39;s like, Foster Farms found a use for chicken feet and cockscombs. That& #39;s the texture. It& #39;s cartilage pretending to be pizza. I cannot fathom how it managed to arrive at market. No one could possibly like it.
It& #39;s not at all clear about what it is, either. It calls itself "Smart Crust." It doesn& #39;t say "made out of chicken memorabilia."
It is like eating The Nothing. It provoked an immediate spit and scream life-saving response.
All the reviews you see when you google it are lies. I can only conclude that Foster Farms spent some emergency money buying blogger mouths. I do the "pizza" justice when I say that chewing a bite of it was like chewing on an enemy& #39;s ear.
I& #39;m mostly a vegetarian, but this reaction is the reaction any person who consumes food would have to this product. It was shocking.
Also, there are things to do w/difficult bits of a chicken. I& #39;m all for toe to tail, if you& #39;re gonna eat meat. Chicken broth. Fried chicken feet! I& #39;ve never had them, but I hear that& #39;s good. No one, until now, has ever thought pizza dough made of chicken paraphernalia was a plan.
"Toe to tail" should be "nose to tail." Apparently, I was just thinking obsessively about chicken toes being used for evil.
This product, in conclusion, is the kind of product for which you can easily imagine an emergency meeting.
Exec: SHIT, BOB, WE& #39;VE MADE THE WORST THING. CALL IT SMART CRUST!
Bob: Smart Cursed?
Exec: No! We& #39;ve made 350k units!
Bob: The pizza crust is made of chicken?!
Exec: Shh.
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