ok now that i’m not sleep deprived it’s time to talk about more #AsexualAwarenessWeek Stuff!

specifically about being demi. because it seems like a lot of people have significantly shitty opinions about that.

[thread]

background: i’m a 23 y/o filipino butch. i’ve been identifying as aspec since i was 14. while i mostly call myself gray-ace (or don’t say that i’m acespec), demisexual is more accurate.

i define demisexual as “when a strong emotional connection precedes atttraction”.

precedes ATTRACTION. not action. feelings don’t come up until after the emotional bond is extremely strong.

ik there are people who can be attracted but wait until they’re ready. that’s not demi.

my body will very literally not be physically attracted to someone until the bond is there. + the bond doesn’t have to be romantic (almost never is for me— i’m arospec too).

i know select folks who think They Know Best will chalk it up to me being autistic or a survivor. but there are autistic folks and survivors (and autistic survivors!) who aren’t demi, who can feel that fast physical spark with someone.

+ often autistic and ace adults are infantilized to the degree that they’re conflated.

i guarantee we know what sex is, y’all. our identities and choices are still our own business.

i’ve kept demi out of my bio, and out of my spoken list of labels, because people think i’m an idiot or basically a kid for using that word. it’s insulting + frustrating for anyone to think they know my identity better than me, and doubly so that i let myself fold because of it.

i don’t know if that’ll change after today. but i know every demisexual person deserves to be respected in their identity, me included.

thanks for reading my long as shit thread. go ahead and ask questions if you want, i do actually like answering questions about the intersections of my identity when it’s in good faith.

happy ace week.

[end thread]