Thread by @BroknHeadphones, Looks like my schedule has cleared, so I think it's time for [...]

Looks like my schedule has cleared, so I think it& #39;s time for Disco Crimes Court

Apologies to everyone on the other side of the Atlantic for the hour

First on the docket: Bryan Adams, "Let Me Take You Dancing"
(looks like the actual disco version has been scrubbed from YT, but this is close enough) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1S6P_ou14U">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

In his defence, a) it WAS his first single, from when the label was grooming him to be a teen idol, and b) while released in November 1978, it was actually recorded in February 78 (the release dates will be important, as you& #39;ll see)

Verdict: Acquitted. No-one could have known..

Next: Dolly Parton, "Baby I& #39;m Burnin& #39;" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH-n972_DTE">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

This was released within a week of the Bryan Adams single, it turns out.
Now, You all know I love Dolly Parton, and I will fight you to defend her honour; also she was at the top of her stardom when she released this (it& #39;s actually the first record of hers I ever bought)...

...but let& #39;s face it, this is just a spangled-up country song with edited-in drum breaks.

Verdict: Guilty (with reluctance)

Next: Peter Allen, "I Go To Rio" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouYavc1cz2k">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

Okay, look: this is not a Disco song, not even in 1976. You would not have heard this track in any COOL disco.

Verdict: Guilty

Next: "The Ethel Merman Disco Album" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rToDkI_TU6c">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

There is no rational defence for this. Recorded in the last gasps of Disco in a blatant attempt to cash in (reportedly, Merman loathed Disco), this record is all but unlistenable.

Verdict: Guilty, with Prejudice

Next: Shirley Bassey, "This Is My Life", 1979 Disco Version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Hy-LGjX5Qk">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

Disco was just about over when Shirley Bassey released this remake of her 1968 hit single, which almost immediately became a gay anthem. I& #39;m not gonna argue with that.

Verdict: Acquitted. Also, I will cut you about Shirley Bassey

Next:
Al Martino, "Volare"
Petula Clark, "Downtown & #39;77"
Ron Dante, "Sugar Sugar"
Frankie Avalon, "Venus"

Gonna tackle all these at once

Okay: individually, yes, these are likely crimes. But, in defence, only one of these (Clark) was recorded after 1975.

Verdict: Clark - time served.
Others - Dismissed

Okay, back. Next: Bette Midler, "Married Men" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGwIhwABL-c">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

Are we talking about THEE Bette Midler? Of the Cockettes? Who was there at the BEGINNING of Disco?
Get the hell out my courtroom.

Bette Midler& #39;s disco tracks my not be to everyone& #39;s taste, but her bona-fides are ironclad.

Verdict: Dismissed, with Prejudice

Next: Cher, "Take Me Home"
(NOTE: I& #39;m Deliberately using short versions, to spare your delicate rock sensibilities) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-TXyMsM9oM">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

This song was recorded during the Platinum Zenith of Disco production, in 1978 (released in Jan. & #39;79, just before the wheels began to fall off the Disco wagon). Cher is a showbiz Pro, so one wonders why it took her THAT long to cut a Disco single

Verdict: Not Guilty. No-one tells Cher what to do

Next: Kiss, "I Was Made For Loving You" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12fJAnaif34">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

This is Bullshit.

Verdict: GUILTY

Next: Frank Sinatra, "Night And Day (Disco Mix)" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XipxZMIExYg">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

This had an official release in 1977, but it was originally a bootleg, done two or three years earlier. Sinatra really had nothing to do with this.

Verdict: Not Guilty

(Y& #39;know, you& #39;d be shocked at how many of these records I actually own)

Next: Robert Guillaume, "I Who Have Nothing"
(no short version available) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hFfQaldt9U">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

I love this record, but that& #39;s no defence. Already old-sounding by the time it came out, I& #39;m guessing this was de-mothballed when he got famous

Verdict: Guilty

Okay, next up: Elton John, "Bite Your Lip (Get Up And Dance)" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GywGvtvPUy8">https://www.youtube.com/watch...

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