Read on Twitter
Okay, here we go.
Person: Your code stinks you violate SRP and have depedency injection
Me: Its 30 lines of code
Person: You should have chosen a better language
Me: Its 30 lines of code
Person: Its going to grow
Me: It solves one specific problem and that's it, it can be refactored as needed.
Me: Its 30 lines of code
Person: You should have chosen a better language
Me: Its 30 lines of code
Person: Its going to grow
Me: It solves one specific problem and that's it, it can be refactored as needed.
Person: Don't use that syntax it's slow, right a for loop.
Me: The compiler now converts that into an efficient for loop
Me: The compiler now converts that into an efficient for loop
Person: You need static typing, static typing is the best.
Me: Does your language allow nulls?
Person: Yes
Me: Do you always check for null?
<crickets>
Me: Does your language allow nulls?
Person: Yes
Me: Do you always check for null?
<crickets>
Person: You need to put in an abstraction in case you change data stores.
Me: When is the last time that you changed data stores.
<crickets>
Me: When is the last time that you changed data stores.
<crickets>
Person: Python is slow, you should use something else.
Me: Why?
Person: Because performance is important
Me: This use case isn't impacted by a few milliseconds
Person: #@$%#(
Me: Why?
Person: Because performance is important
Me: This use case isn't impacted by a few milliseconds
Person: #@$%#(
Person: You are building REST APIs incorrectly.
Me: Hmm, I thought Fielding's research focused on the verb usage and having resources. Not URLs, not using PUT, etc.
<crickets>
Me: Hmm, I thought Fielding's research focused on the verb usage and having resources. Not URLs, not using PUT, etc.
<crickets>
Person: You need to use CLIs and no mouse.
Me: Why do you use MacOS?
Person: It has a beautiful UI
Me: <ponders>
Me: Why do you use MacOS?
Person: It has a beautiful UI
Me: <ponders>
Person: Performance is critical and that is why I use language X.
Me: If performance was the most critical wouldn't a natively compiled language have the best performance?
Me: If performance was the most critical wouldn't a natively compiled language have the best performance?
Person: Don't use PNGs on the web, they are slow.
Me: The customer needs transparent images.
Person: JPEGs are faster.
Me: Your page load speed is 7s, images are the not the issue.
Me: The customer needs transparent images.
Person: JPEGs are faster.
Me: Your page load speed is 7s, images are the not the issue.
Person: Procedural programming is inefficent and error prone.
Me: Lots of money is made with COBOL and other procedural languages
<crickets>
Me: Lots of money is made with COBOL and other procedural languages
<crickets>
Person: PHP sucks and is awful
Me: Tons of ecommerce platforms, forums, the web runs on PHP. It works well enough.
<crickets>
Me: Tons of ecommerce platforms, forums, the web runs on PHP. It works well enough.
<crickets>
Person: I think statically typed languages are superior for the guarantees the compiler gives me.
Me: Have you looked at any functional languages?
Person: No, I can't get code to compile.
Me: <ponders>
Me: Have you looked at any functional languages?
Person: No, I can't get code to compile.
Me: <ponders>
Person: We write micro services.
Me: I always struggled with deployments having so many services.
Person: We deploy them together.
Me: Really, why?
Person: They all depend on each other, so we can't just deploy one of them independently.
Me: <ponders>
Me: I always struggled with deployments having so many services.
Person: We deploy them together.
Me: Really, why?
Person: They all depend on each other, so we can't just deploy one of them independently.
Me: <ponders>
Person: YAML stinks
Me: Do you know most systems leverage JSON, they just use YAML to be easier to use for non-developers.
Person: JSON stinks
Me: Most of these tools have SDKs for your favorite language.
<crickets>
Me: Do you know most systems leverage JSON, they just use YAML to be easier to use for non-developers.
Person: JSON stinks
Me: Most of these tools have SDKs for your favorite language.
<crickets>
Person: Our application is slow and we need to optimize this method.
Me: Have you profiled the application or benchmarked the method?
Person: No, I know that is the slow part.
Me: <opens a profiler>
Me: Have you profiled the application or benchmarked the method?
Person: No, I know that is the slow part.
Me: <opens a profiler>
Person: We need to build a SPA with SSR.
Me: It's just a few pages, do we need a SPA.
Person: Server side rendering is slow
Me: <ponders>
Me: It's just a few pages, do we need a SPA.
Person: Server side rendering is slow
Me: <ponders>
Person: I don't like default values or the null object pattern.
Me: Hmm, but you like the optional pattern?
Person: Yes
Me: <confused>
Me: Hmm, but you like the optional pattern?
Person: Yes
Me: <confused>
Person: Don't use LINQ it doesn't perform.
Me: Hmm, have you ran a benchmark lately?
Person: No
Me: The .NET Core compiler does some nice optimization there that you get for free every time a new compiler is released.
<crickets>
Me: Hmm, have you ran a benchmark lately?
Person: No
Me: The .NET Core compiler does some nice optimization there that you get for free every time a new compiler is released.
<crickets>
Person: I don't like XML and prefer JSON.
Me: Cool, I like JSON too
Person: JSON needs types and a schema
Me: <perplexed>
Me: Cool, I like JSON too
Person: JSON needs types and a schema
Me: <perplexed>
Person: Languages that use white space are awful.
Me: Do you use an editor?
Person: Yes
Me: Do you turn off the auto-formatting?
Person: No, I don't format my C style language by hand.
Me: I don't format white space languages by hand either.
Me: Do you use an editor?
Person: Yes
Me: Do you turn off the auto-formatting?
Person: No, I don't format my C style language by hand.
Me: I don't format white space languages by hand either.
Person: But it's not write once run everywhere.
Me: Nope, but it is a common tool across everything.
Person: I want write once run everywhere.
Me: I think that would require magic.
Me: Nope, but it is a common tool across everything.
Person: I want write once run everywhere.
Me: I think that would require magic.
That's a wrap, I got this off my mind. I have had these style of conversations way too much over the last 13 years, some I started. I know these will continue to occur and I hope that I will proceed with empathy and compassion toward others that are traveling this career path.
