YEEEEHAW THE ORGY OUTLAW IS HERE *shoots dildos in the air”

rodeo clown being chased around a barrel by a massive dong

ORGY OUTLAW: well sherrif, when that bell tolls you an me are gonna DRAW

SHERRIF: suits me just fine

*BONG*

ORGY OUTLAW: nice hog you got there, sheriff

SHERIFF: yours ain't nothin' to sneeze at either, pardner

"Sheriff! Oh, sheriff, it's awful, orgy rustlers done ran off with a whole herd of cocks!"

we never did learn the name of that mysterious stranger who came to the orgy that day

welcome to our rootin' tootin' caligulan bacchanal *honky tonk piano playing in background*

"mama I'm a grown man now, I'm goin' to the orgy and you can't stop me"

"damn it boy I can't lose another son to the maelstrom of carnal delight"

SHERIFF: you got any last words

OUTLAW: my safe word is "six-shooter"

SHERIFF: fair 'nough, son *pulls lever, opening trap door above sex pit*

*shooting loads at the bartender's feet* dance, boy, dance! yeehaw!!!!

bashful young cowpoke getting a rimjob blushes furiously when a lady winks at him

'scuse me ma'am an I apologize for interruptin' y'all but t'would be my honor to accompany you to the BDSM hoedown

that low-down good for nothin' Josiah Terwiliker wants to run his damned loco-motive line straight through the middle of our orgy! we cain't stand fer this!

now 'fore we start this here orgy, a moment of silence for the good reverend o'brien, the good lord took him from us one year ago today as he was suckin' off Big-Dicked Sam

now now Big-Dicked Sam, ain't no cause fer cryin', t'werent yer fault. we all knew he had a heart condition

Miss Molly, if you could please fetch a kerchief for poor Sam, the fella's a right- oh, y'all're fuckin already. welp I guess I declare this orgy begun

COWPOKE: who's that fella over there in the corner, just readin' a book whilst we craft a heavin' mass of fornicatin' flesh?

BARTENDER: Oh that's just Asexual Bert, don't you mind him. Says he likes the at-mo-sphere.

"well now Miss Molly I do declare that was the most delighful peggin' I ever did experience. 'Tis a good thing I'm already bowlegged 'cause I'd be walkin' funny fer the next week otherwise"

*a tumbleweed rolls by the orgy*

SHERIFF: welcome to the orgy, stranger. Hope you ain't here to cause no trouble

STRANGER: ;)

SHERIFF: ;)

Sheriff, there's trouble at the orgy again! You gotta cum quick!

OUTLAW: this orgy ain't big enough fer the both of us

OTHER OUTLAW: yes it is

OUTLAW: :)

OTHER OUTLAW: :)

*stray donkey ambles by the orgy*

MYSTERIOUS STRANGER: There's a bounty on your head, pardner. Nothin' personal. *starts sucking*

that crazy Doc Whitman invented some kinda' steam-driven vibratin' saddle. Says it's gonna revolutionize the orgy industry. Sounds like a buncha hogwash to me

Doc you gotta get over here, Dopey Dan mistook a bottle of laudanum fer lube an' now Miss Molly's comatose!!!

STRANGER: gimme the hardest thing you got, barkeep

BARKEEP: ;)

STRANGER: ;)

*a gaggle of blushing courtesans titter at the handsome stranger rimming the mayor*

SHERIFF: I'm sorry it came to this, Sam

SAM: ain't your fault, Sheriff. Everybody dies someday

*Sheriff shoots Sam's old dildo*

COWPOKE: oh shit, I'm fixin' to cum-

MISS MOLLY: Gasp! Language! *slaps him across the face*

DOCTOR: ain't no use, Zed. I can't locate the dildo

ZED: *groans*

DOCTOR: I tole you to use one with a flared base

POSSE: you hand over that mysterious stranger, sheriff. we're gonna string 'em up but good

SHERIFF: why do you wanna go an' do that, now?

POSSE: you ever heard'a shibari?

*mournful harmonica music playing during the orgy*

well I'll be. a yankee and a reb, dockin' together in peace

son, there's only two ways outta this orgy. one's through those saloon doors with a big dopey grin on your face, an' the other's a pine box

*rattlesnake noise* OH SHIT EVERYBODY STOP FUCKIN' FER A SEC

*cowboy tips .1 gallon hat on the tip of his glans* ma'am

SHERIFF: fella busted open the safe at the bank, stole a whole heap of dildos. you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?

STRANGER, BURIED IN A PILE OF DILDOS: no sir I wouldn't

tarred and feathered at the orgy

outlaw clutches chest, topples over second floor railing into the orgy

*scout puts ear on a rail* fuck train's a-comin'

COWPOKE: miss annie you are the purdiest woman I ever did see

MISS ANNIE: aw honey, I bet you say that to all the girls with their fist up you

Ma Slocum stands on her porch, gazing sadly at the horizon. when will her son come home from the orgy

two men pumping a handcar past the orgy

SURLY NEWCOMER: ain't nothin' at this orgy but steers 'n queers

SHERIFF: you take that back, son. ain't no steers here

COWPOKE: Miss Molly, is Miss Sally...y'know...eligible?

MISS MOLLY: mmmmphmmhmhmphmphh

COWPOKE: Miss Sally could you please get off Miss Molly's face fer a second, I cain't understand a word she's sayin'

yodeling at the orgy

COWPOKE: should we really be tossin' horseshoes at that fella's erect cock? Seems like it's hurtin' 'im

SHERIFF: it's fine, he likes it

lube well's run dry. this orgy's done for

COWPOKE: you ever get...tired of this orgy, sir?

GRIZZLED COWBOY: Heh, I been fuckin' so long it's all I know anymore, son

THERE'S DICKS IN THEM THERE HILLS

crazed old miner dragged out of the orgy, screaming about the legendary lost city of cock

more people died of illness during the orgy than actual fucking

GRIZZLED OLD COWBOY: sometimes I think about leavin' this town, buyin' a patch of land someplace, havin' a little fuck pit to call my own

gosh darn it, who nutted on my stagecoach?!

dowsing for lube

GAMBLER: I'm all in

OTHER GAMBLER: oh, I know

*Bartender quietly sets a double ended dildo on the bar* I don't want no trouble now, y'hear?

*cowboy slaps horse on the ass to send it galloping away*

OTHER COWBOY: my turn ;)

COWPOKE: Miss Sally, it would be my greatest honor to a-a-a-a-ask your hand in marriage

MISS SALLY: *gasp* you'd- you'd marry a common harlot like me?

COWPOKE: we tied each other in the cocksuckin' contest so if you're a harlot I guess I am one too

JUSTICE OF THE PEACE: we gather here today to witness the union of HRMPH *fucking ensues*

tying dildos to the back of the stagecoach

COWPOKE: Hello, mother. I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Sally. We met at the orgy.

MISS SALLY: Pleased to meet you, ma'am *curtsies*

MOTHER: Oh, just like your father and me!

~fin~