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A short thread about my very own TOTGA ( ◠‿◠ )
uhh idk why im doing this,, idk if anyone would see this but alright,, i just wanted to let out some feelings and if ur my irl no u didnt see this shut up :]
i guess it all started at 2020 start? like mid february? idk i dont actually remember, but we met at kumon (that hell) he copied some answers randomly and that’s where it started, i fuess we had similar scheds since i always see him there during tuesdays and saturdays +
then i saw him at 7/11 the store,, then we actually got along and it was now our habit to go there after kumon scheds since there was no school or anything, he asked for my messenger but tf ofc i shouldnt give it but he told me he doesnt have one so i made one for him +
so i asked for his number since i was bored back then? then he gave it to me, then we started taking to each other and all, it happened like usually and i suddenly caught feelings wtf ew, but nonetheless i saw him as my very own bestfriend and my very own diary +
OMFG WAIT SORRY I FORGOT IT WAS NOVEMBER 2019 WHERE WE MET EACH OTHER SORRY I HATE MYSELF ;;
now that i mentioned it,, so like that continued for a month and then came my birthday ^^ i actually invited them to my birthday so my irls and him could know each other but no one came ;; i mean, i know my irls had reasons and its fine ^^ but he never had one,, its kinda +
— strange since we planned this out like for a months after we met and he just dipped,, ALSO THANK YOU LEE ( @Kazuskies ) FOR ATTENDING MY BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR ILY
so after that he began hinting at me that he likes me and i thought i was a joke since usually they dont like me back so yeah i kept like hinting at him too im a fucking dumbass lmaooooooo,, then he actually confessed like mid jan or feb? i forgot
then uhh we never actually labeled ourselves as something together its just idk, then march came,, uh he began to be cold asf last time im sure he had his reasons but he dipped meetings and like literally obliterated me from his sight when we attended kumon together +
he apologized tho but after that we like didnt talk or call for idk how long tbh but i was the first one to reach out, that time i didnt like him anymore since it alr faded but i kinda missed having him joke around and mess things up so yeah i reached out to him and all +
he then apologized and all is wel but he changed,, like not the good kind, if he says sumn offending he usually says sorry but that time he brushes it off like a joke, or he never cared if others were hurt,, i was scared to lose a friend that time so i even lied +
to my bestfriends and stole someone’s picture since he doesnt want to show his,, they alr found out abt it i said sorry and becs of that we had a new friend ^^ @yerilcve and @leeknowknowss im looking at you too 
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then he never opened up to me again but i was still opening up to him about my problems, he would usually comfort me and all but that time he just told me to sleep it out and it will pass so yeah i kinda felt super down about it and didnt open up to my irls im sorry bhies
tw // suicide attempt, bullying
so ahaha this comes in mid april or may? i tried to commit suicide since everything was pretty heavy on me that time,, everything felt down because of my bullies and my mom and personal things, i tried to open up to him again but +
so ahaha this comes in mid april or may? i tried to commit suicide since everything was pretty heavy on me that time,, everything felt down because of my bullies and my mom and personal things, i tried to open up to him again but +
tw //
he snapped at me ,, told me i should do it with bleach and he was fed up and i was full on crying because of that since he actually changed and all :[ i proceed to tell my irl bestfriends and they dmed him through his account that i made, but idk what his replies are +
he snapped at me ,, told me i should do it with bleach and he was fed up and i was full on crying because of that since he actually changed and all :[ i proceed to tell my irl bestfriends and they dmed him through his account that i made, but idk what his replies are +
and it made me down the whole week or month even,, he said sorry but he never chatted me again, i tried texting his number, contacting him through the account i made, through our mutuals but he never chatted me again :(
i continued chatting him for two months (?) and my irls didnt know abt this since he (my other bestfriend) told me not ti contact him again, but i missed him (not in a loving way kinda like a bestfriend type of miss) i literally cried like a baby everytime i reread +
our texts and hear his voicemails and all, that time i hoped that he would reply and everything would be back to normal lawl guess who’s crying now? but fr i miss him still, i miss our chats and his goofy bitch, not romantically, tho we’re still young i miss +
our bonding as bestfriends since that’s what i originally wanted, he was my comfort last time and he chatted me, after months i think, just to give me back the account password, he never said sorry and it HURT me so i took back the account and made it my dump acc +
from then on we never interacted, i kept searching his twt @ but i guess he deactivated and started a new one, if he sees this (i doubt) i just want to let him know i’m sorry for blowing up at you, lol i kinda sill miss you but i’m not okay with what you did because +
it hurt me a lot and it took quite time to move on from it, but i would say thank you for being there when i was down at times, bitch made me happy and i copied answers hihi ^^
sorry for the sudden spam at ur tl i kinda just want to let go of these weird things,, since i cant tell these things to my other irls they might judge me or anything, but idk if anyone would read this tbh idc i guess,, just wanted to make this thread +
sorry for taking ur time bcs of this !! have a good day / night ^^
im gonna go cry in the corner lol
im gonna go cry in the corner lol
