sometimes i think about scales, and about balance. i've not always been a good person. i don't even know if i'd call myself a good person now, though in various ways i'm better than i used to be.

can being good ever mitigate the bad? can my version of events be the true events?

i remember bad things. off hand things said or done to me, things that just slip out in arguments or conversations, things that get forgotten, i remember. i can't ever forget them.
i can't be the only one like this. it's just maths that i'm the bad thing for someone else.

i play back all the bad things i've ever said or done, accidental or deliberate. i wonder if those things are as bad as i think they are. i wonder if they've been forgotten by the wronged parties.

i don't know what the point of this thread is. i just think about this a lot