I’m reading a book called 30 Something and Over It by Kasey Edwards. I recommend it for people (women in particular) who feel like they wonder about whether they have lost their “get up and go”. She explores her feelings and thoughlets. Will share a few, below.

Would also recommend it for men who want some insight into “the inner workings of a woman” in that 30-45 age range, to a certain extent. Feminists lean in, please.

Trigger alert: there are some generalizations, because she writes about her feelings during her journey but also discusses her conversations with friends and professional colleagues. Remember: opinions not facts.

Of fast trackers: “We buy beautiful things...as consolation prizes for our unfulfilled lives that we’ve sacrificed for our professional success. It is somewhat comforting to know it isn’t just me who lives like this.”

“Other than making self-help gurus obscenely rich, the Law of Attraction is based on the premise that the universe will give you whatever you ask for. ...As much as I rubbish the idea, there is something quite appealing and enticing about this concept.”

“I enjoy my job but I don’t expect it to be the only thing in my life that fulfills me.”

On getting a hobby and meeting different people: “I realise how small my world has become.... I only know people who do what I do.”

“It occurs to me that it isn’t so much that Kelly loves her job; it is more that she loves her life, and her job is one element in her rich life.”

“Maybe when your life is enriched with other things, like hobbies, friends and family, then you can afford to lower your expectations of work, because your needs are being met in other ways.”

“When nobody knows or cares about the mistakes you make at work, you can’t help but feel irrelevant.”

On wanting to work rather than stay home and take care of your children: “I wonder how many mothers feel the same as Judy but dare not speak of it for fear if being judged. Imagine the guilt they must carry around with them.”

“Just as it is socially unacceptable for women to admit they would have preferred not to have children, it is socially unacceptable for somebody with a good job to admit they don’t want it.”

“It seems that stay-at-home mothers are still being accused of being anti-feminist and poor role models to their daughters, whereas working mothers have been accused of everything from child abuse to being selfish feminists...”

“Working motherhood is a tough gig. But I wonder, maybe women aren’t opting out of the workforce because they want babies; perhaps they’re having babies because they want to opt out of the workforce?”

“...women are far more motivated by intrinsic goals, such as making a difference and belonging to a community, than extrinsic goals. Men are more motivated by the extrinsic goals of money, power and status.”

“So it’s fair to say that most workplaces support what men want and conflict with what women want.”

“I simply don’t buy the argument that if a woman chooses to have children then she and she alone should suffer the consequences of the break to her career, the loss of income and status, and the stress of juggling a career and a family.”

“There is a general consensus among the women I speak with that they simply don’t want to work the long hours any more, particularly those women who have children.”

“But many of the men I know seem to get off on the fact that they work long hours: it seems to make them feel important and indispensable.”

“Let’s face it: the progress in gender equity has been glacial. And we all know that sexual discrimination and sexual harassment didn’t go away just because of legislation and lip service.”

“...we girls can be our own worst enemies. ...If the sisterhood had the unity and loyalty of the gay movement, I think we’d all be a lot better off.”