I am in urgent need of advice. It seems that I have made an unwise investment. Tell me, please: what is the shelf life of an infant?

I have rented a storage unit for the infants, but the contractor refuses to warranty my product

Security at the storage facility is asking for some form of documentation as to where I have procured the infants from

Making myself a wikipedia page and putting in my net worth as 4.8 trillion

I have offered to give the security officer one infant as hush money

Uhaul is calling. One infant seems to have been left in the truck at the time that it was returned

Uhaul is threatening to call the police unless I pay them a $50 cleaning fee. Listen, m’am, do you know how much that thing is worth? I could buy your whole branch. Hell, I could buy your entire company.

I think I’m still struggling to grasp the concept that the net worth of every fetus is its expected lifespan, times its expected annual salary, times three. Where does that factor of three come from? I’m fine with baby having a salary of 67K from birth until death. But why x3?

Lady on the phone at uhaul has made me come to retrieve infant. When I arrive, she has handed me three infants. Suspicious.

I have brought Maria from the uhaul on board, she will be acting as director of sales and marketing for my business.