I feel like my brain lately is me being like, oh maybe this thing is something I may suffer from. Like oh, i definitely have pmdd (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) aka my moods becoming absolutely insane with the highs and lows right before my time.

And then also had me think about how i fucking hated and still do and almost resent having to have a period. Gender problems after miscarriages at age 11 notwithstanding.

Anyway I was watching this fun youtube video of someone telling the story of thriller books. It was one of those the narrator sees someone die but is so unreliable that you aren’t sure what’s real books. Narrator had agoraphobia.

Which is being afraid of going outside. The most severe cases are what people prolly usually refer to as shut ins. They mentioned in the book that people who are agoraphobic like to keep things closed. Like doors.

In my new studio sometimes the cabinets in my kitchen open from the air from the fan and I get very annoyed and have to close them. I don’t know why I never considered agoraphobic stuff an issue before. in March i didn’t leave my apt for 8 days, for christ sakes and I was fine.

there’s no purpose to this thread. Just thinking.