OH MY GOD, my cousin's delayed Zoom wedding is happening and we can all hear our other cousin's boyfriend smacking her ass while they fuck

I was like "hey T-----, you might want to mute your microphone!" THANK GOD her video wasn't on

I seem to be one of only a handful of people who were online for that and at least she did eventually turn off her mic BUT STILL! Zoom is treacherous! BEWARE ZOOM!

The meeting restarted. "T----- O------'s audio is connecting" is the most ominous phrase I have read all year

oh shit, I hear more slapping. this wedding has been Toobin'ed

The ceremony is delayed but T------'s mic is still on. Pray God she mutes it again before things get going (in either sense)

The wedding continues to be delayed. Unfortunately, I don't think they paid for Zoom Premium or whatever, so it'll probably cut off again right before the vows. At least we'll all have the memories.

How much does paid Zoom cost? We all just got kicked out of the meeting again. (Still cheaper than a flight to Hawaii, not that I'd mind in non-pandemic times.)

The bride is lovely. The wind is trying to tear the veil off her head and we can't hear anything, which is how you know it's a beach wedding.

I think I just heard "haka" (neither of them is AAPI as far as I know) and "college football" but who can say?

Apparently they met at a wine tasting, so I am extra in favor of this partnership

Someone else appears to be taking their phone to the bathroom and no, the audio is NOT muted

That was all this wedding needed

They are married. The wind did not succeed in taking her veil. That person is still on the toilet.