I know I've been talking about my abuser a lot on this account but I think I'm at the point where I can finally put a pin in that point in my life so I just wanna make some thing clear to both myself, other victims, and to anyone who might know the person I'm talking about.

People with mental illnesses, even stigmatized mental illnesses are not bad people because of their mental illnesses. But, I am tired of the co-opting of terms like "gaslighting" to excuse the behavior of those who use mental illness as an excuse.

My abuser said I "gaslighted them for six months" and that makes me a bad person. Let's make something clear. My abuser was five years older than me when I was 17, and told me that I was their favorite person so I needed to be there to coddle them or they would mentally break.

I hate that this person says I gaslighted them. That implies a position of power over them. They were a powerful fandom creator in the fandom I met them in and they were an *adult*. Children shouldn't have to accommodate to an adult. A child can't have power over an adult.

So, no. I didn't gaslight them. I was a kid, am a kid, who was too scared to say no to someone I loved even though they were hurting me and only did so when I had the support of another adult. I hope that sounds as fucked to y'all as it does to me.

So TL;DR: Fuck abusers, and especially fuck abusers who prey on children and use mental illness as an excuse. Thank you for all the support