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dynasty characters and their masturbation patterns, a thread;

blake: never masturbates bc he always has pussy available.

celia: doesn’t do it often but when she does she makes a whole night of it and calls it her self love night.

fallon: usually has dick available but if she doesn’t she won’t settle for the old fashioned way, she gets all the high tech toys. she often has to finish herself off because liam can’t do it. secretly fantasises about a threesome with culhane and kirby.

steven: has masturbated once to see what all the hype was about but then he just always got the dick and was too classy to masturbate.

sam: very easily aroused, physically cannot hold it in and has to go to the nearest bathroom to masturbate at the most inconvenient times.

alexis: too classy for masturbation, probably where steven gets it from.

culhane: always has pussy available and thus will settle for nothing less.

laura: actually prefers her own fingers to the real thing.

luella culhane: is too godly to even think of doing anything sexual unless it’s for reproductive reasons.

james culhane: has to secretly wank it without luella knowing.

evie: has a secret lesbian lover so she doesn’t usually have to masturbate.

allison: is too pure for masturbation but she thinks of fallon every night and gets sexually frustrated.

jeff: thinks he’s too suave for masturbation. still secretly fantasises about fallon whilst having sex with his many female partners.

monica: is too classy to masturbate, probably has a playboy on the side who she uses to satisfy her sexual needs.

kirby: pretends that she’s above masturbation but secretly has names for her masturbation fingers. congratulates them personally when they’re finished. bought a dildo once but was too scared to use it.

cristal 2.0: doesn’t usually masturbate but sometimes has to fake an orgasm with blake and secretly finishes in the bathroom so that she doesn’t hurt his pride. if he knows she didn’t finish he won’t be able to go up for weeks.

adam: likes to reward himself every night with a box of chocolates and a good wank.

liam: being around fallon constantly makes him horny and she rarely wants to have sex with him. masturbates abt 10 times a day to gigi rock much to fallons dismay. sometimes has a sore dick from too much wanking.

anders: has too many side bitches to satisfy to even think about wanking. has an open relationship with erwin sikowitz.

dominique: like laura she usually prefers her own fingers over sex, but she also loves a good oral moment.

evan: masturbates every night whilst rubbing fallons hair on his dick.

hank: not into wanking, prefers to stick something in his ass every few days. often has to get them surgically removed which is why he needed the carringtons money so bad.

heidi: leaves connor with his grandparents every other weekend to go to her orgasmic medication class.

thomas: thinks he’s too good for masturbation, pays his various female companions to have sex with him (sometimes all at once).

iris machado: the queen of self love. who needs a man when you’ve got your own fingers?

reporter #2: wanks every other week because he has a sensitive dick that gets sore after masturbation.

end of thread