So. I’m going to talk to myself again. If you see this, feel free to take a look or whatever you feel like.
I “realized” more like remembered a thing...i live on memories. And how does one get to that point? Because the present isn’t exactly enjoyable.

I chose to look back. More exactly to 2015 and 2016. Those were probably the best years of my life. Which is ironic because for a pretty long time i used to say 2015 was bad because of certain events...but overall it was good.

I had friends, i had time, freedom. Even dreams and hopes. And i wasn’t so lifeless and empty. I can’t say that im wrong for looking back at those times and saying that i wanna go back. Because i do

I wish i can have a glimpse of those times one more time. To see that younger me enjoying a good summer day by the side of their best friend. Or even on their own. I miss my younger self. They used to be better. Sure, i improved in many ways

But i wish i kept some of my old ways too. But what’s done it’s done. And i am where i am. Maybe one day things will be alive again. Maybe I won’t feel like im a nobody. I wish i would feel different. Like i matter. One day. If i get to see it that is

They say fortune is made. But that it is also destined. A take away from that is that nothing is certain. And nothing can be predicted. I wish we had hints at least, something to tell you that you’re doing the right thing

That you’re on the right path. Something to make you feel like you’re not making a mistake.