Let's talk about how much shame and anxiety ppl, self included, feel when they have to keep asking for help. It is exhausting, like Lily said. And embarrassing. To the point where lots of ppl with financial issues choose to end their lives rather than keep asking for help. https://twitter.com/LilyMeade/status/1319740125178286080

I dunno about outside the US but here, there's an astonishing emphasis on self-sufficiency. Bootstraps. The american dream. And it's all bullshit, and we know it, but that doesn't stop the shame. That doesn't stop the circular thoughts about failing to be a proper adult.

And on the flip side it doesn't stop ppl from being judgy assholes if you ask for help more than a couple of times. So you ask and ppl might show up the first time, and possibly the second time. This time? Way fewer ppl willing to help. Bc why haven't you got your shit together?

The way the support decreases exponentially when you ask more than once feels demoralizing. Because you're already tired of asking for help, and now it looks like ppl are also tired of you asking. It fucking sucks. And a lot of y'all will never know that feeling.

Poverty stains everything inside you. It puts an ugly overlay on how you view yourself, how you think other people view you, how you conduct yourself. It weighs you down with guilt and shame and guilt over feeling shame.

And when your station doesn't improve even with emergency assistance from strangers and loved ones alike, it feels suffocating. And eventually, you feel like you want to just let nature reclaim you. You don't feel worth saving anymore.

It's why often, I'll mention that I hate posting asking for help as much as y'all hate seeing me ask. Nobody wants to beg for the bare minimum that should be guaranteed for every human. It's less embarrassing to never ask again than to ask and be ignored.

I mean I definitely need help with rent for this month but I'm terrified to ask for the reasons Lily mentioned. The level of exposure from saying you're still not a "functional" adult overwhelms. And the thought of asking and getting nothing hurts.

Esp when you're a Black woman/femme out here trying to get help. We're last on the list in terms of assistance but first in terms of demanding labor, emotional and otherwise. So that adds another level of guilt, shame, embarrassment, frustration.

Everyone deserves a safe home, a stable life. The fact that we have to beg for it is fucked. The fact that we feel like it's begging is even more fucked. So like. Please be gentle if you see someone reaching out for help multiple times. It takes a lot to do so. Just help them.