Thinking again about how the fuck I wound up at a Catholic university

A combination of
-me refusing to go to The College of New Jersey even though they gave me a full ride b/c debt was abstract to me at 17 + I wanted to get the fuck out of NJ and
-my parents being like "The New School?? They don't even have a library! Go to a real college!"

Anyway, fuck you always and forever F*rdham, I hate you so much, too late to do a take-backsies on the degree tho

I saved this bizarre email Father McSh*ne wrote to us for Women's History month. Besides them refusing to fund the Vagina Monologues every year and staging a "Right to Life" week with no counter-protests allowed, they required me to stop drinking after my own assault. I was 24.

Feel like I should add some clarity here: I never reported my rape, for a whole host of reasons I won't bother going into but a big one was that the man who raped me (an older guy whose org was affiliated with the university) was personal friends with Fr. McSh*ne.

I struggled along in classes for another year before taking a medical leave. That was when I started doing sex work. I never wanted to finish my degree at F*rdham but I had so many credits that transferring would've meant repeating a year.

My mental health wasn't good enough to return on a full-time basis, so I went back part-time, losing my scholarships, meaning I had to keep doing sex work, which was against the student code of conduct. If I had been discovered, I could've been expelled.

Anyone returning from a mental health leave has to sign these ridiculous forms that were clearly drafted to prevent liability in the event of a suicide or homicide, even though I had not attempted suicide since the age of 14 and had no history of violent behavior.

One of the clauses was that you do not drink alcohol, on or off campus. Even if you were over 21, which by now I was. When I was raped at 20, my rapist had plied me with wine and I repeatedly told him I was too drunk for sex. But I was never an alcoholic.

Anyway, given these specific circumstances, the no-drinking clause was like them pressing their thumb in the wound. And yeah, I probably could've fought that battle too because it probably violated the ADA, but again for myriad reasons I chose not to.