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So some #OCD thoughts. I consider myself recovered, as far as possible.. on a day to day basis it doesn't bother me, ai still get intrusive thoughts and they don't particularly alarm me and I find it fairly easy to shrug them off. >
However, recovery is a constant work in progress. It requires continuous effort. Im having my kitchen done currently. Last night, I came in from wk & walked around barefoot. This morning I woke up to realise in the cold light of day that the workman had obviously had an accident>
There were blood spatters on carpet I'd walked on, doors I'd touched etc. This is an unplanned exposure& it's the biggest test. Sometimes, as I said to @gerbillady I'm weary, I don't want to have to fight all my impulses & instincts, I just want to give in & do compulsions #OCD
Yes my anxiety wasn't too high, BUT I still have beliefs around it all...have I contracted something? Even though I've cleaned it all, I know that's where the blood was so now I want to avoid the carpet etc. These are the entrenched, ingrained beliefs I have to be mindful of #OCD
It would be so easy to lapse back into it all, it requires an almost hyper vigilance to be aware of what stories and beliefs I'm allowing my brain to follow. #OCD >
So, I've cleaned the blood up myself (could have just told the kitchen company to do it), I've tried not to clean excessively& I'm forcing myself to walk on that carpet in my socks &touch the doors. I'm not anxious exactly but I definitely have a feeling of resistance #OCD
