Fam, I’m having a tough time emotionally today. I realized how angry I am at my bio fam. How sad I am that they don’t engage meaningfully with my life. I don’t think any of them read my book, or really knows “what I do.” They don’t really know me at all. And I’m so sad.
Because everything feels so heavy and to ask them to hear my pain right now feels like it would be met with rejection, because my pain is wrapped up in how they act in public, how they are voting, how they practice their faith.
And as much as chosen family is a blessing... fuck if I don’t hurt so badly when I think of what I have lost. In some ways I’m lucky we still talk, but talk about what?

We can only talk about our work load and the weather and the babies for so long before we repeat ourselves.
No idea what I’m gonna do with this besides just feel it. “I’m angry with my family.” Was the revolutionary statement that crystallized in my head during meditation. So... whoop there it is I guess.
Gonnnna go do yard work now cause that’s what one needs.
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