I've never watched Married at First Sight but there's a season on Netflix set up in Charlotte, NC & I got two brain cells left, let's go.

"I don't think there's a mean bone in my body." Ah, I bet she's gonna have the biggest cruel streak of anybody on this show.

y'all mute this thread if you believe in love probably, I might get wild

ooh she is putting that accent on to be more likeable, 9 1 1

he seems awful but in a very sweet way, i will root for him

"We don't have Bradley Cooper." [audience chuckles]

Raven is 28 years old and the first thing they tell us about him is that he isn't interested in sex toys. Putting on the accent lady is Iris and she is a virgin, very religious has a piano.

"Probably not mormons." Fair enough, buddy.

lmao, "I would like to married to someone who looks like me..." ok Chuck

Amber, has the show nicknamed you "The Tomboy" or have you done that? "I don't weird make up, I don't do glitzy, glamorous stuff." Honey, your comforter ain't got the monogram on it but it's got the print.

Have you ever met an Amber who wasn't... ya know...

She's been single for ten years. "Both he and I were ugly to one another so I put up walls." Girl, I missed your name but so far, you are it for me. Can we pair you with weird man who seems nice?

"I'm very into the church." She got two degrees, two cars, and a dog in this ten years too. This gal is ready.

I don't know this man's name but I'm telling you, if he ain't serial killed yet... well. I'd keep an eye.

SWEET WEIRD GUY IS SIX FOOT NINE

he's a basketball player, he has two half sleeves, he plays guitar, he is truly the sweetest worst guy, I love him???

"Not a mean bone in my body" woman has now worn four different outfits that match her burgundy hair color and she has a little ukelele and paints in her kitchen. That tells a story.

The socialist on the show is legit ass called Dr. Pepper, I gotta go.

Keith says he's a very patient man so I wanna see him with the burgundy headed girl for the sake of CHAOS but that's not what this show is to be fair. So maybe Iris the virgin or ten years hiatus woman.

This man really had these cameras come into this house with dishes in the sink. Absolutely not. Oh Tomboy and Raven are childhood best friends who did cross country together. Maitlin is INSANE & is a profesh organizer & I for sure thought she was way older.

Jamie, honestly, they should send you to therapy and let you try again next time, this is chaotic. And you are a large toddler. Dirty ass dishes in the sink & you got this many desired traits in a partner. "Cleans up." Honey, no.

Nothing says Charlotte like having a bible and a tazer on your nightstand.

He has a vision board above his shower and if I saw that in a man's house I would simply run

Oh sweet tall one is staying with friends because he plays basketball in latin america and just did not find his own home, I see now why I was drawn to him, we are both feral

Iris the Virgin is being partnered with Keith the Patient, I saw this too. Wow, me, a genius.

They put Burgundy Jaime with Mister Dirty Dishes. Whoooo. The pastor is worried he'll be cruel to her and find her annoying. Tbh, SAME WORRY.

Deonna 10 years and Greg Vision Board Christ have been partnered. They're both very into church and having a house that makes me break out in hives. Good for them.

Oh they only choose four couples? Ok then.

Oh they're putting Tomboy and Sweet Tall Man together. I treasure him too much. She's 5'2 & he's 6'9 & my insecurities as a girl who was 5'5" by third grade is deeply angry.

Oh now talking about Maitlin and Raven. They both seem insane so sure. An option.

They went Amber and Matt, good. I want them to be happy.

Ok, really, Amber and Irish... I need them to both have a very nice time. I'm actually suddenly very protective of them. Oh no.

Burgundy yelling, "YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A DADDY" at her chihuahua, god bless. Ok episode two.

Wait do they get a therapist, a sociologist, and a pastor to help them out the whole time? Because honestly maybe all relationships should do this.

Burgundy is Elizabeth and Dirty Dishes is Jamie. I should probably use names at some point.

Someone saying "metrosexual" here in the year of our lord 2020 and they partnered her with the man who can't do dishes and keeps golf clubs in the kitchen? y'all...

more and more I am into Team Sweet Jocks even if he is 9 feet taller than her, I pray he had a small head as a child

So Elizabeth is the youngest in her family and a daddy's girl so that'll be... fun.

The way Deonna's father pronounced "vodka", the way he's eating this plate but maintaining eye contact, "it's gone take a minute." I love him. This is a Deonna's daddy stan account.

Sweet Jocks both have abandonment issues. Delicious.

Iris's family is lovely actually.

Love that she's like, "I want white-white, the whitest dress that you have." She said I am a VIRGIN I have EARNED THE MOTIF.

Oh she thinks if the dress is super white the man will notice and get that she's a virgin. Girl, men cannot see color. they think knowing the difference between white and cream will make them gay or something. Let go of that dream probably.

"She's so different." That is southern for "what a weird bitch". Listen, Jamie has some style instincts and his brother just bullied him out of it. Boy... take your bald head home.

just a reminder to anyone who doesn't know: you do not need to wash your hair every day and you do not need to condition every time you wash generally speaking (some 3 & some 4 patterns might do leave in daily tbf)

LOOK AT THESE BOOTS! he said tall boy jock fashion, I LOVE, I SUPPORT

Respect to Elizabeth, she is box dyed burgundy and she is here to get D

oh no, people are supporting one another, I am too fragile at this time for this

Amber's dad doing sports talk with her with zero idea that she's about to marry a bsketball player, wow, art

His friends are hyping up the crowd and stuff, this is incredibly cute. Even if their marriage doesn't work out, I hope they remain bros.

Oh I didn't even think about the fact that her identical twin has come out first so like, he's gonna see that face AGAIN with no context lmao

OKAY THIS IS A VERY BRO WEDDING AND I AM ACTUALLY EMOTIONAL. I was not prepared to feel an emotion but something about a large himbo saying "nice, awesome" in between vows. sjdflksjdflkjd

19 inches taller than her. Jesus christ. Put her in a baby bjorn so you can kiss her forehead.

He's pouring her champagne and asking her what color she would call her eyes. Perhaps... I would do arranged himbo marriage.

It's cool how neutral sports are compared to wrestling thing because if I found out my suprise wedding was a wrestler I'd be like, "ok but WHAT KIND" because it's like, maybe that's a good thing but maybe that's a death match p*do

okay, I got a feeling that Elizabeth Burgundy Box or Jamie Dirty Dishes... one of them is gonna freak bad enough to not make it through. They're both not doing well behind the scenes.

they made it through, he seems to be very into the fact that she's a little insane, and his friends put in their letter to push back if he's ever an asshole so that might be fine.

He's way more into her than I thought he'd be. It's almost like a panel of experts knew something that I, a mentally ill woman on a couch, did not.

We are down to Iris the Virgin and Keith.

"some type of way" is such a distinctly southern phrase, I do not know how else to express this, god bless.

He immediately walked out and said "where's mama at?" and went to find and meet her mama, that's... ok. ok.

tbh if i ever get married i'ma pay his brother to come calmly say, "you smooth with it" when i'm nervous

Oh she also doesn't drink but is like, but we should have champagne. That's very cute. When does she drop the virgin thing I wonder?

Keith and Iris are cute as hell together actually. and they're children... like would be the most beautiful and charming. Wild.

oh no intimate wedding photoshoots... didn't think about that, awkward. "I don't kiss on the first date." Um, girl...

I would simply not make eye contact like this with anyone tbh. Not me.

ok now, they knew his parents weren't here, don't call him up for a dance and do that, that's hateful. oh my god, her mama is coming to dance with him, B R U H

honestly, this is just exposing how fucking weird and archaic weddings are. like the parents exchanging things, the family speeches, the first dances, the parent dances, that's... this is... awkward.

Matt, the giant, has such a lovely group of friends and his parents aren't here and to me that's just... that's strong character right there tbqh.

Like the cake? That's weird as hell. Why am I feeding someone in front of other people? Also... let me explain something to you. If I'm only supposed to have a part once I' being extra af, if someone put cake on my makeup, in my hair, buddy, I will end your life.

All of these sweet, adorable people: so crazy to be kissing a stranger!

me, a slut:

OH MY GOD, Iris told his mama that she was a virgin and now mama is going to tell him, y'all... could you give her a MINUTE?

men, buy slutty boxers for your wedding night. live a little. this man crawled into bed in basketball shorts. you can feel sexy too you know, get fresh.