Consent - a thread.

Helped a friend draft a write-up about Consent for her project, and ended up reading a lot of articles on the topic. So, thread time! (1/n)

What is consent? Consent is an active, knowing, voluntary, sober, specific, enthusiastic, wanted, ongoing informed, mutual, honest, and clearly communicated agreement to proceed with a particular (sexual) activity in a relationship. (2/n)

To make it easy to remember- Consent is easy as FRIES:

• F - Free
• R - Reversible
• I - Informed
• E - Enthusiastic
• S - Specific

(3/n)

Why is consent important? Communication, honesty & respect make relationships better. Establishing enthusiastic consent before and throughout sexual activity means everyone is on the same page and having fun together. (4/n)

Consent eliminates the entitlement that one partner might feel over the other. It dismantes the power dynamics between individuals involved in the sexual activity. Consent is to set your personal boundaries & respecting those of your partner(s). (5/n)

One's body or sexuality belongs to noone but their ownselves. In short, consent makes people feel respected and seen, and more is the fun! (6/n)

A VERY IMPORTANT POINT:
The absence of a "no" doesn't mean "yes".
(7/n)

Dressing a certain way, flirting, accepting a ride, gift, or drink, kissing does not mean consent. Allowing to be kissed does not mean you automatically have the consent to proceed with any further sexual activity. Read that again. (8/n)

Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even if you’ve already started getting intimate. Consent is reversible, and can be withdrawn at any point. A 'No' must be respected at all costs, immediately. No means No. (9/n)

Consent needs to be asked for even if you’ve been intimate before & even if you’re in a committed relationship. A person can decide to stop an activity at any time, even if they previously agreed to it. Consent pertains to this moment, this activity, this person. (10/n)

Minors CANNOT consent. It is illegal to involve a minor in any form of sexual activity because they CANNOT consent and their 'yes' however clear, does NOT count as consent. (11/n)

Being in a relationship/marriage doesn’t oblige anyone to do anything. Just because you are married to a person, it does NOT mean that you automatically have their consent. (12/n)

Consent is a process. If you want to move to the next level of sexual intimacy, ask. Do not assume. (13/n)

Consent cannot be assumed or implied. Consent should always be clearly communicated — there should be no question or mystery. Consent is clear and unambiguous. Consent is to respect your partner's boundaries even if they don't make sense to you. (14/n)

Some people express their no verbally, while some express their negation with nonverbal cues. Womxn, LGBTQIA+ persons have been conditioned to give in for generations, so it might be hard for them to express their no confidently. Read their cues. (15/n)

"I don’t know, I’m not sure", "I don’t think so I want to, but…" is NOT consent. If someone is unsure, you do NOT have their consent - even if you have performed the particular activity with them before. (16/n)

Non-verbal cues like silence, lack of a response, diverting the topic, pushing away, avoiding eye contact, not responding physically, looking distracted or sad means you do NOT have consent. Again, do not assume consent. Ask. (17/n)

Someone under the influence of alcohol/drugs, is stumbling and cannot stand without a support, fumbling with speech, falling/fallenasleep, losing/has lost consciousness, or incapacitated CANNOT consent. (18/n)

You need not have to offer reasons why something is not okay for you. No means no, even if it might not seem logical or rational to your partner, even if they don't understand why you stated a No. (19/n)

Using guilt, blackmails, intimidation, threats, coercion to make someone say "yes" is NOT consent. No. There’s NO consent when you use your power, physical force, trust, or authority to coerce someone. (20/n)

Suggesting that a person “owes” you sexual favours because you have done something for them is NOT consent, even if they might end up agreeing eventually. Consent under pressure is not consent at all. Consent should be freely given and enthusiastic (21/n)

Ask for consent. Ask open-ended questions as a way of starting an ongoing dialogue about what you each want. Create space for your partner(s) to respond. Talk about boundaries beforehand, including wants and limits. Also, remember that they can change during the process. (22/n)

You need your partner's permission to to share/post ANY videos/pictures in which they are involved. It is WRONG to share those without their prior knowledge, or use them as a tool for revenge or threatening (23/n)

In short, consent is non-negotiable. Consent is reversible. Consent is freely given. Consent is informed. Consent is ongoing. Consent is clear. Consent is specific. Consent is enthusiastic. Consent is voluntary. Consent is necessary. (24/n)

Everyone has a right to their own body and to feel comfortable in their relationships. You get the final say over what happens with your body. Noone else does. Noone at all.
(25/n)

I've added the points I found would be helpful. Please feel free to add more in comments. Glad if you reached until here! (26/26)