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For a year I was a victim of abuse in a romantic relationship. Although it wasnāt physical it was still abuse. It was emotional abuse. I want to start this thread with the definition of emotional abuse and gaslighting since so much people donāt realize this
I want to make this thread not only to hopefully help anyone who may feel like their in a similar situation, but to also warn any girl in the Broward area of my ex because I donāt want any other girl to be a victim of his abuse
I met my ex, Christopher Joques, in a college class and I truly thought he was the sweetest person and had no belief heād ever try and hurt me the way he did. We started dating almost instantly, alarming to some of my friends but in my mind I thought it was ok
In the beginning I saw no signs heād be abusive, it was the typical honeymoon phase. But once we reached our second month being together I started to see the signs. It was when we had our first argument I saw that he was a threat and I wish everyday I left that first time
The argument was because he wanted to take his girl best friend (a girl he admitted to liking him at one point) on a trip with his family during winter break. When I told him this bothered me because of the past feelings the girl had for him and the simple fact it was a girl that
wasnt me he responded with āyouāre overreactingā and āyour making situations up in ur headā two phrases heād use against me in the future on multiple accounts to ignore the fact he hurt me. Sadly this wasnāt the only thing that happened that same month.
That same month when I looked through his phone I saw hundreds of pictures of him with the girl he was with before me, both normal and nude photos. With that discovery and the trip he was planning with a girl that wasnāt me it made me very upset and I wanted to leave
We got in a heated argument in his car. Since Iāve been cheated on before I geniuenlly believed he wasnāt loyal or trustworthy and I wanted to leave. When I tried breaking up with him in his car, instead of understanding he locked me in his car and threatened to hurt himself if
I left. He was saying I was going crazy and making things up and that I wasnāt being reasonable. With him threatening to harm himself I, like any normal human, started to have an anxiety attack. When I tried getting out of his car, screaming at him to let me out, he locked the
doors and told me not to leave because heād kill himself. He told me Iām the only reason heās alive. With fear of him hurting himself I decided to stay with him. This wouldnāt be the last time he would use that tactic to keep me in his grasp, and it wouldnāt be the last time he
crossed my boundaries. When this year started a boy that worked at my gym was being EXTRA nice to me and saying flirtatious comments my friends and I found sweet but also funny considering I was in a relathionship. It became a joke with my friends and I would tell
my ex about this guy as a joke. I can understand why this could maybe make someone uncomfortable so Iād ask him if it bothered him to comment on the situation but assured me it didnāt bother him
When I found out said boy from the gym had a gf and was being flirty to me I was obviously shocked and told my ex, and he asked me why I cared so much about the guy. I told him I had zero interest in him and simply found the situation weird. But my ex started to make it seem like
I was interested in the boy. No matter how much I told him I wasnāt interested in the boy from the gym, he made it out to seem like I was and accused me of possibly cheating. This was CLEARLY false but he didnāt believe me. We got into an argument and made me feel like I was a
liar. When I told him this bothered me he told me I was twisting his words. When I brought up how he shouldnāt even tell me about boundaries considering he planned going on a trip with another girl he told me I was making things up and it was DIFFERENT
After this argument came under an agreement it felt as if it was a start to a horrible pattern. Everytime he crossed my boundaries, made me feel unheard, or insulted me he made me feel like I was making things up. He would insult the shows Iād like to the point of making me cry
Heād make fun of the food I like, one time calling a bakery place I enjoy āstupid, and a waste of timeā when asking to go on a date there. He would even go as far to make fun of my dog, even threatening to AND I QUITE ākick his mouth inā for he found my dogs bark annoying
Every SINGLE TIME I would tell him these things bothered me heād say āyouāre making things upā āyouāre twisting my wordsā āyouāre imagining thingsā āyouāre just upset because if your anxietyā āyou only cried because of your periodā always ignoring how heād hurt me
I donāt make up situations, especially when heād make fun of me in front of my family, or even friends. But sadly it gets worse
When summer came along he became more busy, and I was also accepted into FSU. Whenever I tried talking about moving and figuring out long distance heād either interrupt me while speaking, hang up to talk to a friend, or even change the subject. If I called him out he said I was
lying and making things up. Not only was this happening but he started to only work on school and never make time for me, and even planned on getting a internship in ANOTHER STATE the summer I was supposed to be home. When I told him how inconsiderate this was
He told me āyouāre unsupportive, you donāt understand what itās like to work hard, to have to work for everythingā this hurt me deeply and I decided I wanted to leave him. This wasnāt the first I tried breaking up with him. But as I stated in a tweet earlier everytime
I tried leaving he threatened suicide, he told me heās only alive because of me, making me feel guilty for my emotions, making me feel trapped. But this time I had enough and I told him I needed to leave. He started to spam my phone begging me to stay saying heād die if I left
He spammed me but I didnāt give in and I said it was over. And for a second I thought it was true. Days after he started begging me back and saying empty promises if I stayed, and again threatening suicide. I started to believe his empty promises and also a fear
A fear that if I left for good heād kill himself and everyone would blame me. This isnāt something someone should feel. I shouldnāt feel responsible if someone kills themselves. But Iād id. At this point he trapped me and I got back with him.
I got back with him and everything he promised went away. The abuse only got worse, the gaslighting only got worse, and the ignoring me only got worse. He would say I never apologized in arguments even tho whenever I was wrong I made sure I apologized because THATS HOW I WAS
RAISED. I never let my ego get to me because I believe in humility. He didnāt do the same tho. Iām going to post screenshots of these arguments to show proof of the abuse I experienced first hand
Example one
Example two
Example three
My last example was only THREE DAYS before our one year anniversary. Iāve never been with ANYONE for more than four months. This was a day Iāve been looking forward to for as long as I could remember. I thought maybe this day can even fix things
Before I go to restaurants I like to look through the menus online, because it helps with my decision making and social anxiety. I showed him a dish that was $17 and he got mad because it was āexpensiveā and when I told him it shouldnāt be such a huge deal because itās a
Anniversary dinner he called me and I quote āan ENTITLED BITCHā and hung up the phone. He called me an entitled bitch. Something no girl should ever hear, especially three days before a ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
Here are messages of me calling him out for calling me a ENTITLED BITCH where he blames me and tells me to understand how Iām a ENTITLED BITCH. Theyāll be two parts to this since itās THAT BAD
Hereās part two
I cried the hardest Iāve ever cried. The last time I cried that hard was when my mother nearly passed away in front of me due to chemo complications. It gets worse because of what happened on the one year. Iām going to say a slight TRIGGER WARNING because there is sexual assault
Mentioned in this. On our one year he took me around the mall only shopping for himself. When I was in stores I liked heād get upset and tell me to hurry up because he wanted to get things. The only thing he got me for our one year was a cheap ass meal at cheesecake and a build
a bear. THATS IT. He took me around the mall getting mad at me for asking for gifts. Dragging me, making me watch him shop for himself. I was getting extremely anxious and wanted to go home. He tried forgiving me to take photos with him and I was borderline crying to go home
So we got in his car. We started kissing but I wanted to stop because I honestly wanted to get home. He asked me if I could give him head. I said no because I was uncomfortable and it wasnāt what I wanted to do. He said ābut itās our one year just do it please itās been so longā
I said no Iām every way possible. PEOPLE NO ISNT ONLY NO, itās Iām not comfortable, or Iām not in the mood, or not today, or please not not now. Sadly he never got this. He manipulated me into doing it and I did. Even when I tried to stop because I wasnāt comfortable he begged
After I felt dirty and violated, since Iāve been assualted twice before, AND HE KNEW THIS. The drive back I was holding in crying, and when I got home I sobbed and cried to God to get me out of this relathionship because I didnāt know how much more I could take
I knew he never cared because like always he only thought about himself. Now letās fast forward to the last two weeks of my life. Last week we got into a argument because I told him heās not respecting my religious views and not treating me like a priority
Instead of trying to understand he got mad at me and told me I donāt understand anything about the struggle. He wrote a sloppy text on how this country is against him as a black man, as if Iām not a Afro-latino WOMAN in AMERICA
I was telling him I was tired of the relathionship, tired of the gaslighting, tired of the abuse, and instead of understanding he did the worst thing humanly possible, he told me itās my fault, and that he was going to kill himself because heās done
I told him to stop because I was scared and Iām tired of him threatening harm on himself if I left. He said ābye celina I love uā and didnāt message me for FOUR HOURS. Making me think he killed him self. Having me panic and crying thinking I caused someoneās death
Hereās screenshots of that convo
The next day I told him how much I didnāt appreciate him scaring me and threatening suicide considering I nearly called the police because I was TERRIFIED. He then broke up with me saying āyouāre too far gone weāre doneā
At first I was upset but then IQ as happy and released that I was free from this abuse. But later on that day he not only tried calling me but texting me telling me he needs me back and he canāt live without me. I told him to please move on and leave me alone
He stopped messaging me. But at the start of this week I was told by my friend that he was texting them trying to get to speak to me. Ofc I was declining. Apparently he heard that I was telling friends he was abusive and he was upset
On Thursday he was SPAMMING not only me but my friend with calls and texts. Trying to get through to me. Texts Iāll show now
On Friday I decided to explain my piece and close this relationship for good because I felt a fear in my chest heād kill himself or come to my home or call my mother begging for my attention. Here is what I said part one
And here is what I said part two
Instead of him understanding where I came from and doing some self reflection like a normal human he did what any abuser does best and blamed his victim
Christopher May think Iām in a false reality, crazy, or toxic because of my anxiety, something I NEVER USED TO HOLD ME BACK but heās avoiding the reality. Heās an abusive cunt who canāt continue to hide from his actions
So hereās my message to every girl in Broward, him, and shit even his small dicked friends that may try and say Iām lying. No woman or man makes up abuse, especially when they have proof. I may not be perfect but I never EVER stopped to his level and I never will
You can tweet how I made u loose ur mind, but u werenāt the one abused for a year. It hurts me to know the same guy I prayed for did this. But Iām not someoneās victim. Iām my own freaking person.
So Chris I hope u get some freaking help because ur only hurting urself. And girls please I beg you stay away from him. Heās terrible and will only cause you harm.
Hereās his socials, he even made it easier for me and put his insta in his twitter bio. Dies stay the fuck away from him.
