What I know of love is it is only complete if rendered fully or otherwise must just be rendered obsolete.
Umma just do a thread unprovoked.

My dad died when I was only 13. But he was the best dad... I learned everything I need to know of love, loss and grief in that short amount of time...

He gave everything he worked for, for us.. for expensive schools and enough to supply all our wants but he also gave us his time.. all of it.. when he travelled abroad which he did a lot, he'd always make sure to send a postcard personalised one for mum, my sis and me

Most times he'd travel back before his little love letters on postcards arrived and he'd be the one collecting them from the post and hand-delivering them back to us.

He was my best friend. We did everything together.. Saturday morning was his grooming day and I'd sit with him, mixing his hair dye coz the man was never gonna be grey.

Until he got sick. Mum sent us away to boarding school so we wouldn't have to see him like that.. weakened by his own mortality.. dad had us summoned back, the day before he died..

I remember seeing only a shadow of the man I called my hero. Struggling to breathe a little longer but knowing he was fighting a lost battle.. I remember looking at him and the picture of his former self that was on the wall behind him.. comparing

I knew in that moment this frail grey haired man was not my father for much longer. My father was strong, bold, vivacious.. this was a tired man.. I greeted him, sat with him a bit then went to my room and cried.. my aunt came in and cried with me.. I asked "will he die?"

My aunt said "I don't know..."
That evening after dinner we sat together as a family for our nightly prayers.. (family tradition was, my sister and I take turns saying the "special prayer" which was personal requests in addition to all the Hail Mary's)

This day, everyone agreed I had to do the special prayer.. coz obviously it was me.. and my dad. It had to happen that way.. so I prayed.. I prayed what everybody wanted to hear... "Please heal daddy coz mum needs him still and so do we.." i kissed him & said my last "I love you"

Then said our good nights and went to bed. In bed.. my 13 year old self pondered and wept but then finally said a 2nd prayer "I know I said heal him, but he's in so much pain so please just take him to his peace.. it's ok.. you can take him"

The following day.. around midday for no reason at all I'm watching an Alan Ngumuya song Tizikumbukira - and I felt something in my spirit passing away.. I don't know how I knew before they told me but I felt it.. I just started crying by myself..

And hour later my cousin came home from the hospital where they had taken him the night before to give us the news I was already expecting.. dad was gone..

But my point is .. that night, I knew he needed to rest. I knew he was holding on for me.. I knew God was giving me time to let go.. I knew I needed to let the love go, but still hold on to it another way..

Love is not everlasting but it is at the same time.. love in the physical may be expendable.. but if you can make all the moments count, you can carry it eternally..

Learn to cherish certain things coz the end is always inevitable even if the start might not be.. either way, love completely so that when you do have to let go, you don't feel the emotional bankruptcy.

I'm really glad my father loved me so completely .. so that every memory I still have brings me the same smile on my face and joy in my heart that I felt for those few years.. I feel it forever..

I hope y'all allow yourselves the chance to experience that once in a lifetime type of love coz mannn everybody needs it. One you get to experience fully.. let it leave you no debt.
Zinazo muzaona nokha kutidi nzotsala.