A thread on "The Talk":
At last night's debate, Biden spoke about "the talk." Truth be told, "the talk" happens with wide variety. One of the most memorable versions of "the talk" in my life happened in a Chevy pickup truck, en route to a Future Farmers of America speech contest.

I was a standout in Texas UIL speech competitions from Jr High impromptu speaking and poetry recitation to Lincoln Douglas Debate and domestic extemporaneous speaking in High School. I was also active in ag and a member of 4H and FFA. In he latter, I showed goats.

My ag teacher suggested that I could translate my UIL speech wins into FFA speech prizes and maybe get some new banners for our High School chapter. A local radio announcer was the one and only banner winner from our small town well over a decade ago.

So we got approval for us to take the Brady ISD white Chevy pickup truck and I put on my Wranglers and white button down shirt and my navy blue corduroy FFA jacket and headed down for the first district contest in San Saba, just down the road, along the San Saba River.

I was confident and probably overconfident. FFA regionals and state were about the scale of a midsized weekend tournament and the district contest was tiny. Sensing my confidence, my ag teacher asked me how much I knew about agriscience and ag politics.

I knew some things, since I had taken every ag and shop class there was, but he noted that I had to be against NAFTA politically, it simply was terrible to the judges I would have. Then, after this, came the “the talk.”

My ag teacher knew me pretty well and had my trust. Nothing he said was taken as offensive and to this day I treasure the care and risk he took to speak to me point blank like that. He told me I could not simply go to district and give good speeches. For one, I was a newcomer.

Many of the chapters had strong bonds that were built from the farming families of the region and I didn’t have that. This made sense, since the best show animals came from those who had farms and ranches and us school farm kids were seen as second rate and for some good reasons.

Then he said in a thick Texas twang: “Plus, Sam, look at you, you can dress up in blue jeans and corduroy and sound smarter than all get out, but you’re Mexican and at least half of these judges will be stone cold racists. Fair for them means you have to FORCE them to rank 1st.”

He smiled and continued, “But you and I both know you’re plenty good enough to make them have to rank you first or risk looking like fools. So you make them do that and we’ll move on to regionals where things won’t be too much easier but the pool will be bigger.” And I did.

This ag teacher was not Mexican, mind you. He was just a good old boy white Texas ag teacher who, like many white Texans, hated racism and knew it well enough to talk about it as an empirical fact. Many times “the talk” comes from these good folks who give you a quick heads up.

I have dozens “the talk” stories and they are not quite as dramatic as Biden’s one last night, but they do show you that you need white allies sometimes to help you wake up and remember that sometimes you have to play against a stacked deck. Knowing that, you can often win, too.

The key here is that “the talk” is about opening your eyes and not only protecting yourself but also learning the rules of engagement so that you can know what to expect and also be ready to put in the extra effort.

Perhaps the most painful version of “the talk” was when a friend invited me over to his house for a sleepover but warned that I could only come when his dad was out of town and shouldn’t talk about it too much because his dad didn’t allow Mexicans in the house. I was in Jr. High.

Another version of “the talk” was when my Hispanic mentor and coach (the defensive coordinator) physically confronted the head coach about continually pulling me out of the game because he felt it was racially motivated. That taught me a lot and got my head on a swivel.

I could go on and on, but I think y’all get the point now. “The Talk” is not just about cops, it is a genre of communication unique to people of colour and it can happen in numerous ways and without it, we would just have to touch the hot stove of racism without warning.

I feel like the drama of policing and also its punitive and criminal context may not represent “the talk” sufficiently well to those whom are not familiar with it. It is not a strictly criminal genre, it is social. Let me give you one more example.

Another version of “the talk” for me was being told in high school that though a girl’s parent’s didn’t allow her to date Mexicans, *I* was not the sort of Mexican to whom this rule applied; that I should not feel shy about asking her out. This is another form of “the talk.”

Last one: I have had “the talk” in retrospective with old high school and college buddies and even former students who are able to recognize how certain things that took place were clouded by race.

For instance, a buddy admitted that the joke “Sam is way too smart to be a Mexican, he must be Greek.” Most of my life, I’ve become used to the “Sam is one **smart** Mexican” (even by Mexicans) which can be funny but does sometimes imply that Mexicans are “low IQ” as Trump said.

These “talks” about such things in retrospect have been important for me to see and recognize to be sure I am not overreacting to things or using race too broadly or liberally as a master signifier. I see them as “the talk” too.

So please know that “the talk” is not only a criminal or punitive conversation about police but, instead, a social one that people of colour need to be able to live in a society where racism operates to their disadvantage. It is tragically essential.

There is a the version of “the talk” one has to have about “the talk,” too. This thread is a version of it. There is a meta-version of “the talk” one has with those who cannot recognize it to show them how racism functions hidden in plain sight. So consider this “the talk” too.

I hope this thread offers some added context to “the talk” that is corrective to Biden’s portrayal but mostly I hope it serves as consolation to those who know “the talk” all too well and education for those who may not be aware of its everpresence in American social life.

Thanks for reading, forgive the typos and mistakes, and please consider sharing especially if you are in the latter “education” category.