Many have noted that the song “Monster Mash” is not the mash itself, but rather a history of its inception and commentary on its popularity. While this unknowable nature is troubling, I have discovered a more sinister undercurrent of the song- intellectual property theft. 1/?

The song starts when the narrator (Boris) observes his monster (Igor) performing the monster mash. The language in the first verses makes it evident that the mash is a dance (“he did the mash… they did the mash”). 2/?

Following the arrival of the Crypt-Kicker Five, it is clear that the mash has evolved and is now also a song (“they played the mash”). Since the Crypt Kicker-Five is a vocal group, one can assume that it is not just instrumental and that the group contributed lyrics. 3/?

The key turning point occurs toward the end of the song when Boris takes ownership of the mash (“my monster mash…do my graveyard smash”). This is a far cry from Boris’ initial interaction with the mash which was “to [his] surprise” and “an eerie sight”. 4/?

It is worth noting that it seems this change happens as the mash gains popularity. Now that it is “the hit of the land”, Boris wants in. He further asserts that the mash is his own by confidently extending an invitation for us (“the living”) to join. 5/?

This demonstrates intellectual property theft, as he claims possession over the mash despite it being unclear if he contributed anything to it. It is Igor who should own the dance, and the Crypt-Kicker Five who likely created the song. We've been complicit in this exploitation6/?

With this interpretation, the end of the song takes on a whole new meaning. As the music trails off, Igor can be heard protesting, likely trying to vie for his share in the royalties, but is dismissed by Boris, who calls him impetuous. 7/?

Thus, the spookiest part of this Halloween classic is not the notion of a diverse group of monsters enjoying a holiday party, but instead the underlying themes of theft, deception, and imbalanced power dynamics. 8/8